The Twilight Saga: New Moon – Vampires + Werewolves + Romance = Bad Idea

In the second installment of The Twilight Saga, Edward the sparkly vampire decides to leave Bella the gloomy teenage girl for some reason. Bella decides to become an adrenaline junkie in order to cope with the loss of her sparkling vampire and becomes close friends with a werewolf in the process. Then, out of nowhere, we get what looks like it could be the end of Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet, complete with a scenic Italian location.

I never really understood the relationship between Bella and Edward. They have no real chemistry. They just look at each other awkwardly and exchange clichéd romantic dialogue.

There are few characters in popular cinema that incite as much rage in me as the character of Bella. She has no redeemable or interesting qualities whatsoever. She is awkward, irrational and very clingy. Also, she somehow is immune to the special superpowers of certain vampires. Such a character is commonly called a Mary Sue and should be avoided at all costs.

A lot of male moviegoers hate the character of Edward Cullen due to his effeminate sparkling, creepy glances and use of clichéd romantic chatter. While I don’t really like him, he wasn’t in this movie all that much, giving me less time to suffer through watching him. At least I liked him more than Bella, but pretty much anyone is better than Bella.

Basically all the characters in this film are weak and uninteresting.  Jacob is bland and monotonous; there would be no reason to watch him at all if it weren’t for his abs. The other werewolves are never really fleshed out. Bella’s father doesn’t do anything. I guess I liked Jessica; I understood her motivation and could relate to what she said, although, as a very minor character, all she really does in this film is tell Bella she thinks she’s crazy.

Not only are the characters generally bad, but he acting in this movie is pretty stale too. With Kristen Stewart’s acting, it’s hard to tell exactly what emotions are going through Bella’s mind; is she sad, angry, constipated? The other lead actors’ performances are also flat and uninspired.

There is a plot point about the possibility that you lose your soul when you become a vampire. Supposedly this is why Edward does not want to turn Bella into one. Why would they care? Neither of the characters really appeared to be particularly religious or spiritual. I wasn’t even aware that they cared about the whole heaven and hell thing. The film’s plot is rife with plot points like this that seem to come out of nowhere and don’t make a whole lot of sense.

I have to admit that I thought this film was slightly better than its predecessor. It had more going on, but then it also had a longer running time. It had a bigger budget, but the effects are still pretty cheesy. Being better than Twilight does not make New Moon a good movie.

I have heard that the film is supposedly a fable about something like teen sex; I didn’t learn any lesson from this film, except that Hollywood will adapt anything into a film when there’s money to be made.