After watching Killers, I finally understand why there is a lot of people out there who dislike Ashton Kutcher. Having not seen that many of the films he’s chosen to take part in before, I didn’t have that frame of reference. Fortunately, (or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it), I now do understand. It’s films like Killers that can make anyone look bad, but choosing to take part in it is the issue I have in this case.

The actual plot doesn’t even get going for the first hour our of the film, so let me spare you what happens then: Jen (Katherine Heigl) and Spencer (Ashton Kutcher) have gotten married. Their marriage may or may not be completely working out. Spencer used to be a spy, but may or may not have given that up. They have small problems that every couple has to deal with. That’s all.

The other half of this movie deals with Spencer and Jen being on the run from trained assassins. The reason that people are after them is revealed at the end of the film, but it isn’t a big surprise to anyone when it is revealed. Literally everyone they encounter in the last 40 minutes is someone trying to kill them, and Killers takes an action-comedy route for the two leads to avoid death. This is when the film actually begins to pick up steam, except that everything that happens is too predictable to excite the audience.

So, apart from the film not really being the film it was billed to be, what else is wrong with it? Well, neither of the leads prove that they can act, especially not when in the company of one another. Their chemistry is almost non-existent, which makes the first hour of the film feel overlong and kind of pointless. Apart from giving us a small bit of character development, (but not enough to matter), and some attempts to make us laugh, it serves little purpose.

Once the film actually gets going and lives up to what it promised to be, it still isn’t very good. It’s slightly better in this part, because the poor acting and chemistry doesn’t show as much when there are a bunch of action scenes, but it still isn’t very entertaining or funny. I mean, action scenes can still be entertaining even if they’re poorly executed, and that’s sometimes the case here. Not often — and the most memorable scene for me is still one in which an explosion occurs behind a character that looks like they hired people who had no idea how to do special effects to make it — but there are times where they are passable.

Actually, I’d like to change what I said earlier. There is one more moment in the film that was more memorable than the terrible pyrotechnics. Usher makes a cameo appearance as an employee at a K-Mart. Unfortunately, he shows himself to be a better actor with far less material than either of the leads, which just goes to show he poorly they do in this film.

With such little amount of working having seemingly gone into the film, I’m just about done talking about it. The leads were awful, the first hour of the film was pointless, and there was almost no fun to be had while watching it. When the most memorable parts about a movie were the terrible special effects and a small cameo, you know you’re watching something terrible. Killers was a complete waste of my time and I urge anyone contemplating watching it to consider watching something better. Or just going to bed. Or going for a run. Or doing anything that could possible considered more productive than sitting there wasting you time watching this movie. Please and thank you.