Welcome to Central High, where everyone is treated with equal disrespect. Bullies roam the school’s premises in search of timid bystanders and beautiful women to molest. Fortunately we have our hero to save the day, or destroy it with his madman personality. A new kid who becomes agitated over the violence that these bullies inflict on innocent people decides to resort to violence himself to teach them a lesson.

Massacre at Central High sports a cast of unknown actors and actresses who willingly display full frontal nudity and end up getting killed in the process. Writer/director Rene Daalder’s first full length American feature isn’t a complete disaster, for it clearly has a classic feel to it. The constant use of frat boy violence, the transformation of a seemingly normal guy to one who exhibits outbursts of rage, and nearly farcical kills yield a mixture of a violent satire of Animal House, The Incredible Hulk (without the green), and classic slap-happy slasher flicks. It just doesn’t quite work and shouldn’t work with the ingredients provided.

The score here has to be the most ill-suited aspect of the entire film. It just seems that the usage of a violin could have given off a creepy vibe instead of a happy-go-lucky one. Those of you who are looking for a so-called classic with a no-budget effect similar to this one should go rent a film like Sleepaway Camp. The attempts at piling up corpses here are laughable and contrived, due to lack of effort. I do have a keen desire to like films with bad titles and the occasional unintentional laughter, but there is a line to be drawn and this movie crosses it one too many times.

The ending is a huge let-down and the whole experience was just strange and never quite engaging. Everything (the kills, the characters, the direction, etc.) plays out by the numbers and no new ideas are thrown into the mix, leading to a cliched execution.

If you can get past the helpless beginning, unfit score, and wretched line reading, you might be able to find a splash of guilty pleasure here and there. Just don’t count on it. The film never pushes its otherwise respectable concept to its limits and ends up being a film that (just by reading the title) gives you insight on what you’re in for. It’s an instantly forgettable and comically bad film that might possibly have a following considering the interest in revenge films, but I just don’t see it being big enough to develop a fan base. 1.5/5 stars

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