On Friday September 18th, my best friend and I decided to celebrate her birthday watching Jennifer’s Body. Sounds hot right? Well for someone who is not a fan of Megan Fox, I thought well what’s the harm? It’s classified a horror comedy. Ironically that classification alone is an oxymoron but despite movie man’s review on Elvis Duran’s show we went to see it. More than half way through the movie we left and may I say that I have NEVER left in the middle of movie. I saw “Drowning Mona” and “Mr. Wrong” and never opted to leave. If anything, it’s fun to make jokes about horrible movies. However this one takes the icing on the cake. It makes me want to watch Glitter again just to cleanse my “bad movie” pallet.
The story is outright pathetic. The basic story is about the slutty, sexy cheerleader who gets “abducted” by this underground band to take part in a ritual to Satan. When the band mistakes this social sexy cheerleader as a virgin, all men pay the ultimate price. Since she is not a virgin, a demon takes over her body which causes her to literally live off human flesh, men more specifically. Any man her best friend, nicknamed “Needy,” finds even remotely attractive, she goes after them and this includes Needy’s boyfriend.
There was nothing remotely scary about this film. It was graphic and the “fear factor” was induced by using the standard pop-up antic that is used in most horror flicks. While the pop-ups had us jumping, there was no real fearful aspect about the film. The most ridiculous antic of the movie is when Jennifer went hungry she basically looks like me everyday, tired, dark circles and unattractive. Yes, thank you, IT’S CALLED WORK AND STRESS! Of course to look her sexy attractive self she has to be full of male flesh. Yes, in reality it’s called makeup and self pampering.
They also thought it necessary to show the aftermath of Jennifer’s killings by displaying the grotesque sight of the deceased victim with his “spare ribs” showing. Apparently Jennifer had the cravings for the full rack adult ribs as opposed to Chili’s baby back ribs. Even a shadow display of the murder in play doesn’t hide the gruesome sight of the deed.
I wish we could get our money back, but we can’t. What’s the lesson learned here? Amy Seyfried should get another agent for even considering this film for her talents, Megan Fox needs to realize that she doesn’t have to be a demon in a movie to show off her bad attitude, and Diablo Cody should stick with her one hit wonder “Juno.” Thank you very much.  And Hollywood, if you want to spend thousands to millions of dollars on another horrible film, at least find one that has some kind of foundation.

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