Categorized | Horror, Drama

I Know Who Killed Me: The Killer Review
Reviewer's Rating: N/A
Rate This Movie: (Time Waster!)(It Sucks)(So... So...)(Watch This!)(Get the DVD!) (3 votes, score: 2 out of 5)
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Posted on 29 November 2007 by Wes Laurie

Lindsay Lohan’s performance for the tabloids and her public battle with drug addiction has finally tarnished her professional image. I always thought she at least worked hard to get where she was as first a child actor and then on, though I was never a fan, she wasn’t horrible. As I write this review for one of her movies I can say, “I know who killed you Lindsay: you did.”

I Know Who Killed Me was directed by Chris Siverston and stars Lindsay Lohan. It is about a girl named Aubrey who is kidnapped by a killer who likes to torture his victims via amputations with them conscience. Instead of her corpse being found she is found very much alive, yet refusing to say she is Aubrey, she claims to be a girl named Dakota.

I don’t keep tabs on Lohan, so I’m not sure if this is something that has been around a while or not, but: was she trying to plump her lips up to look like Angelina Jolie or what? Looks like there was some inflation and through her entire performance I was distracted by this fact as well as not being able to shake the Lindsay Lohan is a public retard syndrome. The Dakota character is a stripper in the film, and I have to point out how un-sexy Lohan came off and how lazy a dancer she looked like. I don’t think she’ll ever have a career in the art of seductive dancing that is for sure.

The story for the movie isn’t all that bad, is what many people might say as they occasionally look at the TV screen when the Dvd is in. More than likely they’ll be tuning out from time to time to look at things of interest in the room, like perhaps a wall. The story is delivered with an almost interesting scenario, but it ends up being way too much like a poorly acted soap opera. Along with Lohan’s less than stellar performance the “killer” is so stupid and hammy: ugh.

The color scheme of neon blue, reds, and even purple seems to be an attempt to be clever in dividing the worlds of the story apart. People could sit and try to contemplate or interpret the colors and when and why they were used, but quite frankly I found it annoying that almost every other object in the film was blue. It was a pretty blue, but enough was enough, after enough.

The music through the entire movie is horrible.

The film does have a little bit of blood in it, considering the killer is into amputating things while the victim is still alive. It isn’t enough to entice horror fans into thinking the special effects are cool, but probably enough to make the target audience of Lohan fans say eww. Seeing Lohan missing some limbs is almost cool, but then again it would be more fun just to doctor up photos in such a way with photo bucket than to actually watch this movie.

The concept is one of those that at first glance might sound a bit interesting, in theory. However it is executed like a cheap soap opera, with one of the main characters, Aubrey, not really being given the time for us to get to know much about her or care about her.

I’m trying to think of something positive to say, but…no…this movie sucks like Paris Hilton in one of her Daddy’s hotels.


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    2 Comments For This Post

    1. Derek Fleek Says:

      That bad of a movie. Now the question is do I watch it just to see if I agree. No, I am not going to watch a movie that absolutely nobody liked. Good review.

    2. tigrldy Says:

      You are soo right, this could have been an interesting movie, but it soooo was not

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