Month: November 2007


Movie Review – Hitman This movie is based on a video game of the same name, and of which I know nothing about, so forgive me for my stupidity.  It stars Timothy Olyphant, Dougray Scott and Olga Kurlenko.  It was directed by Xavier Gnes and is rated R mostly for violence.  It ia about 2 hours long.   This movie is about a man who was raised from childhood to be a trained killer.  He was assigned a number and there was a bar-code tattooed on the back of his head, just like all of the other little boys.  He gets his directions through a computer and he follows them to the T.  He is the best they have and his name is only a number.  He is sent to kill the Russian president, and from there things go all crazy.  He is attacked, set up and falls for a girl he can never be with, it is the nature of things. This movie was very well done for a movie based on a video game, of course I might just be partial to video game movies since I also liked Resident Evil, House of the Dead, Lara Croft, and Doom.  The action was fast and exciting and there were very good scenes of violence where the blood looked less grotesque and more creative.  The fact that Timothy Olyphant (plays...

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The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford

Director – Andrew Dominik Writer – Andrew Dominik Starring – Brad Pitt, Casey Affleck, Sam Rockwell, Sam Shepard, Brooklynn Proulx, Dustin Bollinger Review: The western is a genre rarely seen on the big screen nowadays. One or two will crop up every now and then, such as The Proposition and Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada, proving that they can still be made. The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford is the latest and a film almost indescribably good. Casey Affleck plays Robert Ford, a young man who ever since he was a boy has looked up to and admired a notorious outlaw by the name of Jesse James (Pitt). He heads the James gang, made up of petty thieves and crooks. The gang is planning on pulling off their last train robbery before retiring to a simpler life. Ford manages to tag along on the last train robbery to show James what he’s got and to hopefully gain the trust and friendship of him. And he manages to earn it and he ends up tagging along with James as he goes in search of a simpler life. But no sooner has the James gang split up when the law begins to find various members and bring them to justice. The paranoid Jesse takes it upon himself to kill all of the ex-members of the gang to avoid them giving him...

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“Enchanted” is a film, like many others, where the animated world collides with the real world. It stars Amy Adams, James Marsden and Susan Saranon. Most of film takes place in the real world, which is good because those are the scenes that worked. This is a fairy tale that centers around a princess by the name of Giselle planning to get married to Prince Edward. Everything is according to plan until Prince Edward’s evil mother Queen Narissa sends Giselle to the place of no happily ever afters. Prince Edward and his sidekick Pip (a talking squirrel) follow in search Giselle and true loves first kiss. While Giselle is wondering around in the real world, Queen Narissa decides that the only way to keep her son from getting married is to poison Giselle. Yes, you guessed it, a poisoned apple. Sound a little familiar? What makes “Enchanted” your average run-the-mill Disney is the film has nothing original to offer. This is basically your Snow White/Cinderella fairy tale. The film has some flaws that are forgivable, like the predictably happy ending. What is a fairy tale without a happily ever after? The thing is that some of the flaws are just downright unforgivable. These include how unoriginal and cliche the whole story felt. I kept asking myself “Haven’t I seen this before?” It leaves kinda leaves a “been there, done that”...

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I Know Who Killed Me: The Killer Review

Lindsay Lohan’s performance for the tabloids and her public battle with drug addiction has finally tarnished her professional image. I always thought she at least worked hard to get where she was as first a child actor and then on, though I was never a fan, she wasn’t horrible. As I write this review for one of her movies I can say, “I know who killed you Lindsay: you did.” I Know Who Killed Me was directed by Chris Siverston and stars Lindsay Lohan. It is about a girl named Aubrey who is kidnapped by a killer who likes to torture his victims via amputations with them conscience. Instead of her corpse being found she is found very much alive, yet refusing to say she is Aubrey, she claims to be a girl named Dakota. I don’t keep tabs on Lohan, so I’m not sure if this is something that has been around a while or not, but: was she trying to plump her lips up to look like Angelina Jolie or what? Looks like there was some inflation and through her entire performance I was distracted by this fact as well as not being able to shake the Lindsay Lohan is a public retard syndrome. The Dakota character is a stripper in the film, and I have to point out how un-sexy Lohan came off and how lazy...

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The Mist

“The Mist” is based on the short story written by Stephen King and is directed by Frank Darabont (The Shawshank Redemption, The Green Mile). This Sci-Fi/Horror stars a fine cast that includes Thomas Jane, Marcia Gay Harden, Laurie Holden, Andre Braugher, and Toby Jones. After a vicious storm strikes a small town, a mysterious mist follows. The citizens of the town end up stuck in a supermarket after a man, bleeding from the nose, runs in claiming “There’s something in the mist”. After some brutal attacks by creatures in the mist, the people now must fight for their lives to make it out of the mist alive. They end up splitting up into two groups. One group believes that the mist is a biblical act of god, led by Mrs. Carmody (Marcia Gay Harden), and the other group, led by David Drayton (Thomas Jane), does not. The camerawork and creature effects are what keeps the film moving at a brisk pace. I love the way this film actually feels like a Stephen King horror movie, getting the viewers involved with the character’s situations. The script, though I haven’t read the book, was incisive and to the point. Yes, it was creepy and sometimes scary, but there is something missing. Maybe it was the acting that was done, how should I say, a little too good. Maybe it was the way it was all layed out. Or...

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