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Tai Chi Master

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Posted on 19 July 2008 (2 hours ago) by Derek Fleek

Jet Li has made some really remarkable films and it is sad to say that Tai Chi Master is not one of them. It’s silly, pretentious, and utterly appalling.

Junbao (Jet Li) and Chin Bo (Siu-hou Chin) have grown up together teaching each other masterful techniques deadly to their opponents. But after they both get kicked out of the Shaolin temple, Chin Bo betrays Junbao for money from the government of China and becomes a ruthless killer.

I am in complete awe at how bad this movie really is. Before getting to anything worthwhile, poorly rendered subtitles rapidly flood the screen in a manner so fast any average person would have to pause the DVD to read them, and three prolonged fight sequences of ridiculous kung fu antics will have eyeballs rolling. It becomes very frustrating within a few minutes. Tai Chi Master is the worst Dragon Dynasty picture I have seen, the worst Jet Li movie I have ever seen, and a top contender for the worst kung fu movie I have ever seen.

Having complete respect for Jet Li’s remarkable talent, this film avoids exploiting them in a manner that is agreeable to some extent. Instead, Director Woo-Ping Yuen creates some of the most unintentionally funny and outrageously stupid moments in the history of kung fu cinema. This is a film that begins idiotic, becomes moronic halfway through, and ends up being preposterous in the finale.

It’s incredible to be able to have such coordination to execute some of these antics and I admire that. However the film is never beautiful, rarely enjoyable, and constantly frustrating. The whole DVD is a mess. The subtitles are too fast to read and if you listen to the dubbed version of the film, the characters say something completely different from the subtitles. I just don’t get it.

I was expecting something similar to Iron Monkey or Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon. This is nowhere near as good-looking nor is it anywhere near as astonishing as those films. It irks me that Jet Li agreed to make such a sloppy film.

It’s nearly unwatchable, thanks to the rapid fire of incoherent subtitles and the torrent of stupidness that makes up the entire movie. It is best to save your money and keep your distance from this messy, poorly structured DVD.


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Batman: The Dark Knight

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Posted on 18 July 2008 by pippy

The Dark Knight stars Christian Bale, Heath Ledger, Gary Oldman, Morgan Freeman, and Maggie Gyllenhaal whose Cape Crusader is not wanting to reveal himself to the City of Gotham, but is the City ready for the Dark Knight.

The story line was confusing. All I know is that the Joker (Ledger) kills innocent people and the Batman (Bale) has to stop him before he does anymore damage. In the middle is Kent a lawyer who wins the affection of Rachel.(Gyllenhaal) Kent puts most of the criminals in jail by winning a court case. However, things get more serous when the bad guys look to a freak for help. The Joker doesn’t always tick to the plan and he makes a wondeful mess for everyone. The police in charge (Oldman) works with Batman to help catch this monstrous clown, but will Batman prevail? The story continues to get even more twisted when the good guys go bad.

The movies direction was very confusing. One minute you think the Joker is trying to be helpful but then he is bad. Ledger’s acting skills was very pleasing, but he didn’t get the final word. Was he caught or did he escape. We assume he was caught, but he always comes up with something clever. Another view is that Gary Oldman’s role was very disappointing. “So you came back from the dead?” Hmm…isn’t that Batman’s role? Batman always lives.

I loved the way the Joker came up with his tactics of killings. Ledger took things to a whole new level. I love the line when he says, “Why so serious?” Ledger tricks half the City by plotting destuctive mechanisms to make Batman realize what he is really after. Ledger as Joker also plays well when he goes after the heart. But why the good guy goes bad, makes one realize that Kent’s line was right, “You die to be a hero, or you can live long enough to become the villian.” Hmm….I like this quote it had meaning to it.

Overall this movie was pretty good. There were positive and negative things about the movie which gives you some mixed feelings. It was like this because this was Ledger’s last movie :( However, when you look into the moonlight you see a Dark Knight.


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College Road Trip

Reviewer's Rating: This entry has a rating of 2.5
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Posted on 16 July 2008 by Derek Fleek

Another painfully annoying Martin Lawrence movie or finally a refreshing Martin Lawrence comedy? Actually, it’s a combination of the two.

Chief of Police James Porter (Martin Lawrence) is a father devoted to spending every lasting moment with his little daughter Melanie (Raven-Symoné). He starts to worry, and the movie begins in earnest, when Melanie plans on going across the country to find the perfect college. James’s plan is to get her to go to the closest college possible, exactly 28 minutes away from her home. However, his plan isn’t as easy as he thought it would be.

Yep, it does have a couple lame jokes, a few annoying characters, and some unnecessary sing-alongs, all of which make up some of the worst moments in the film. Fortunately, we have twice as many laugh-out-loud moments, a few heartwarming incidents, and that adorable pig Albert, which combine to make more than a few bright spots in this G-rated film. It’s a hit-and-miss family comedy.

It’s predictable, yet fluffy and clean family entertainment. It’s perfect for the family in the fact that nothing is vile and it still manages to make adults laugh, or, at the very least, smile. Much of those laughs or smiles come thanks to the comedic duo that is Albert the Pig and Martin Lawrence. The two managed to make me crack up quite a few times. And all the laughs are true, never forced.

As for the supporting cast, they didn’t bring the comedy as much as they brought some headache-inducing duets and solos. If you can get past those moments, you will have a good time. Director Roger Kumble (Cruel Intentions, Cruel Intentions 2, Just Friends) doesn’t top any of his previous films, but he shows moments of good comedic capabilities here and there. It is easy to say that without Donny Osmond and Molly Ephraim (who play another dad-daughter pair out looking at colleges), the overload of overly sentimental moments, and the horrendous singing, this would almost be a highly recommended film.

Clearly this is Disney Channel material with higher production values and a big Hollywood star filling the lead role. It is a film I can recommend for a family with children under the age of 8; the kids will probably find the parts that annoy adults pretty funny. On the other hand, if you’re a critical person and are looking at all aspects of the film, you can’t help but see much of the lame humor that takes place on this College Road Trip. Overall however, there are enough laugh-out-loud moments (which I wasn’t expecting from a G-rated comedy) to make it palatable for a family. Everyone else would be just fine avoiding this one. 2.5/5 stars

The DVD’s special features include the usual gag reel, deleted scenes, alternate opening and endings, and audio commentary tracks.


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Be Kind Rewind

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Posted on 16 July 2008 by Derek Fleek

Join Jerry and Mike (Jack Black and Mos Def) in Be Kind Rewind as they “swede” some of the most iconic movies of all time to raise the appropriate amount of money and save their aged video store from being torn down.

What is sweding, one might ask? Sweding is when you remake a film from scratch using whatever you can get your hands on. In this case, Jerry accidentally erases every video tape from the store and Mike comes up with the simple idea of remaking the VHS tapes using themselves as actors. The two end up becoming stars and people from around the country start to seek the sweded work of Jerry and Mike.

The idea is unique and the characters are charming. Jerry is an over-the-top character with sensitive feelings and believes that he is perfect for every role and Mike is a very simple-minded, soft-spoken character who just doesn’t want to disappoint the store owner and father figure Elroy Fletcher, passively played by Danny Glover.

Although the tone of the film is much different from that of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, there is still a lot of thought put into this picture. And this takes of a whole lot effort from Jack Black and Mos Def if you consider the many different roles they had to cover in the time span of 102 minutes. Let’s not forget about Danny Glover, who has a distinctive slur to his voice and gives an unobtrusive performance that brings some dignity to his character. There are a few funny moments to be found, but the film seemed more interested in capturing the hearts of its viewers, rather piling on the laughs.

A definitive style and imagination is a requirement for a solid concept like this. Michel Gondry proved that he has everything needed to direct films with such an offbeat pitch to it when he put his signature style on films like Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and The Science of Sleep. This one’s a true crowd pleaser.

Unlike Son of Rambow (a film that was also trying to grasp the essence of film and failed on multiple levels), this film has a tender spot for movie lovers and pleases without being disorganized and erratically uneven. A solid script, great cast, and an amusing premise guide this homage to movies, friendship, and the power of numbers to its warm finale. Be sure to take the time to cherish each clever scene and the outer limits of Michel Gondry’s imagination. The ending will either be a touching, heartfelt one or an insipid, whimsical one (depending on one’s perspective). For me, it was entirely endearing.  4/5 stars


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Hellboy II: The Golden Army

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Posted on 13 July 2008 by Adam Cook

Directed by Guillermo Del Toro
Written by Guillermo Del Toro
Starring Ron Perlman, Selma Blair, Doug Jones

Four years after the original, Hellboy is back, and although there wasn’t a lot of demand for a sequel, it proves to be a welcome addition to the list of summer 2008 blockbusters. This time around, “Red” has to stop an ancient mythical prince from summoning The Golden Army, an indestructible force of 70 times 70 mechanical warriors to take back the world that was once his. Whatever, the plot isn’t really important. It just works as a vessel for visionary director Guillermo Del Toro to work his remarkable imagination. And he does.

The first Hellboy seemed impressive in 2004, but it pales in comparison to The Golden Army. From start to finish there are dozens of breathtaking creatures that raise the bar of fantasy. The sequel is a lot more rooted in fantasy/fairy tale territory than typical superhero stuff. Which is a good thing because Del Toro knows a few things about fantasy and fairy tales, he directed the masterpiece Pan’s Labyrinth. For example, in a brilliant early scene, Hellboy and his team encounter hundreds of little “tooth fairies”, vicious little killers who have habit of stealing their victim’s teeth. Or when the team infiltrate the “Troll Market”, a place for the things that go bump in the night to shop, which may actually top the Tatooine bar scene in the first Star Wars film. A couple delightful surprises wait there, and I wont spoil them. Or when the prince throws a harmless looking green jumping bean at Hellboy, that once it finds water, becomes something rather spectacular, maybe even beautiful. Like Pan’s Labyrinth, the film has a way of balancing makeup/costume effects with CGI. The result is authentic looking creatures that completely engross you into the movie’s reality. Why other directors don’t instate such style is quite the mystery to me.

The characters are all back, aside from Myers, which admittedly disappointed me…Until the Seth McFarlane (Family Guy) voiced Johan Krauss was introduced. A brilliant addition to the team, he seems to be a gas-like entity contained in some strange suit. His ability? He can possess inanimate objects, a power that will ultimately be underused because it’s way too useful. Hellboy is up to his old smoking cigars/petting kittens/pissing off authority antics, as well as some new ones as well (a duet of Barry Manilow between Red and Abe Sapien may occur). Ron Perlman enthusiastically continues his great performance with just the right mix of brawn and sensitivity, making Hellboy very endearing. Del Toro regular Doug Jones (played multiple creature parts in Pan’s Labyrinth) does triple duty as the more interesting this time around Abe Sapien as well as the film’s two best creatures, The Chamberlain and The Angel of Death. Selma Blair again fails to impress as Liz, but the writing for her character isn’t necessarily very strong. Jeffrey Tambor of Arrested Development gets more screen time but not more to do. He’s still grouchy and only there for minor conflict and a couple weak laughs.

The characters are fun, and certainly are a big part of the experience, but it’s the visuals that make this really worth seeing. Del Toro goes no holds-barred this time around, ad it’s sure to get any Lord of the Rings geek excited for his upcoming adaptation of The Hobbit. The plot is a bit trivial and the storytelling isn’t up to the par of Del Toro’s work. The Hellboy films feel more like a mix of Pan’s Labyrinth and Men In Black than a typical superhero movies. I wouldn’t rank them amongst Iron Man, the Spiderman films (well, maybe #3) or the new Batman movies but it really isn’t cut from the same cloth anyhow. So, striking visually, a bit weak story-wise, but a fun summer movie I highly recommend.


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Hellboy II: The Golden Army

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Posted on 12 July 2008 by nwertanen99

Barry Manilow’s classic love ballett “Can’t smile without you” blasts thru the halls of the B.P.R.D. (The Bureau for Paranormal Research and Defense) as Hellboy (Ron Perlman) and Abe Sapien (Doug Jones) sing along, naturally out of cue, while drinking beers and each brooding over there own special girl. The scene is wonderful, humerous, touching and well…priceless, and if reading that description raised your eyebrow or turned you off a bit, then I’d suggest skipping this movie.

While that particular level of humor is unmatched in the film (or in many others), the film is largely quick-witted and humerous throughout, often even during the fantastically choreographed and highly entertaining action scenes. It’s a film thankfully unrestrained from studio suits, second guessing or backseat directing, as Director Guillermo Del Toro has, by all accounts and appearances, been given full reign and creative control after his worldwide phenomenon Pans Labrynth of a few years back. And thank the film gods for that blessed miracle, and thank the continued success of the comic book film industry (basically holding hollywood on its back these days) for such a wonderous treat as Hellboy II: The Golden Army.

The sequel to 2004’s Hellboy is both a welcome return to favorite characters and a breath of fresh air to a young film franchise that often seemed to suffucate under its own weight during the sometimes fun, sometimes heavy and boring, and sometimes amazing first film. In the sequel, Hellboy and gang find themselves up against Prince Nuada (Luke Goss) and his army of fable creatures set on reclaiming the earth from the human species they feel has grown greedy and heartless, and who have nearly destroyed the once proud planet, forcing there kind into exile. Hellboy must stop Prince Nuada from finding the location of The Golden Army, a large army of monsterious metal creatures who can only be controlled by the unchallenged leader of the realm. To control the army, Nuada will need to reforge an ancient crown that was broken into pieces millenia ago to prevent the army from being awakened ever again. To stop him, his sister, Princess Nuala (Anna Walton) hides the last piece from him and seeks the B.P.R.D.’s help.

Aside from the Army plotline and Prince Nuada, the movie also focuses on Hellboy’s relationship with everyone around him. His relationship with B.P.R.D. head honcho Tom Manning (Jeffrey Tambor) has fizzeled since there reconsciliation at the end of the previous film; His romantic relationship with Liz (Selma Blair) is hitting a rocky point, and she carries a surprise for him thru most of the movie, a delightful surprise the audience is let in on very early on in the film. And then there is Hellboy’s need to draw attention to himself, his need to make everyone like him. As a result of his ego, the B.P.R.D. are outed to the public in the first chunk of the movie, making his rocky relationship with Manning even more so, and forcing the powers that be to send a new agent to take over command of the squad.

That new commander is the highly entertaining Johann Kraus (voiced by Seth Macfarlane), who is basically a robotic body with the spirit of a brilliant scientist living within it. He sounds a bit like the robot on Lost in Space and looks like a bounty hunter from Star Wars, only much more entertaining. Another Star Wars cantina-esche moment is when Hellboy, Kraus and Abe enter a warped version of Diagon Alley from Harry Potter, filled with dozens of amazing creatures, all which put anything in the cantina (or anything else in the films) to shame with its level of detail and originality. At least 6 or 7 times in this movie you will see something and say to yourself: “Boy, I haven’t seen that before.”

It’s simply an enjoyable, fantastic adventure story with great characters and great writing. The character designs and visuals are breathtakingly cool, and Del Toro’s visual flair from Pans Labrynth is once again on full display here. Nowhere have we seen such original, interesting and vibrant looking characters. The result is a scope and believability rarely achieved in such fantasy films like this. Even the action is on a level unachieved in many of its comic book film peers, often adding twists to the excitement, such as Hellboy carrying an infant in one hand while hopping cars, buildings and loading very large guns with the other. Mixed with the same trademark humor from the first film and some strong hints at a possible third film, and it all makes Hellboy II the latest in this summer’s trend of spectacular comic book adaptations. A must see!


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Journey to the Center of the Earth

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Posted on 11 July 2008 by pippy

Journey to the Center of the Earth starring Brendan Fraser and Josh Hutchison will take you for a ride, literally. This 3-D movie is packed with adventure and great fun for anyone!

The story begins when a professor has to watch his nephew who just lost his father. Brendan takes Josh to Iceland so they can do some field lab work, but when they meet a woman who guides them into the mountain for a little research, they get more than a bargain. Soon, the group find themselves stuck in cave and needing to get out with the little time they have left. Along the way, the trio sees things that are out of the ordinary and make exciting finds and also might I add get into a little trouble and romance.

The 3-D effects were really cool. I liked how things flew at me and made the movie more fascinating. The 3-D affects made you want to go back and re-read the book. The 3-D effects also had some fun surprises in them! The coolest part of the movie was seeing the center of the earth itself, is that how it really looks like, Jules Verne had quite an imagination.

However, the beginning was a bit confusing, leading into the story itself took a while. Things eventually picked up when the uncle and nephew follow the guide into exciting heights. In the beginning, the scenes made you a little sick for it it was going too fast. The rest of the movie was fun to watch and you felt like you were going on a rollercoaster the entire movie.

Overall, this action packed adventure will take you on a ride to the center of the Earth. It makes you wonder if you can go to the center of the earth and survive!


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Son of Rambow–A Refreshing New Comedy

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Posted on 10 July 2008 by Elliott Appleseed

The new British comedy, Son of Rambow, directed by Garth Jennings and written same duo who gave us the brilliant and innovative Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, have done it yet again.

Set in a 1980s British village, Son of Rambow follows two young boys who form an unlikely friendship. William (Bill Milner), a member of the Plymouth Brethren religion, is not allowed to indulge in any sort of media, including movies and music and is sent out of the classroom any time a film is shown.  As he is tormented, then slowly befriended by the cheeky troublemaker Lee Carter (Will Poulter), the boys’ difficult home life is what ultimately brings them together and when William catches a glimpse of Stallone in all his glory, his life is transformed and this friendship is forever sealed. Along with Didier (Jules Sitruk), the too-cool French exchange student, the boys attempt to make their own rendition of the ultimate action film, First Blood, leading to a surprising and fantastical plot.

These non-professional child actors are refreshing and quick-witted and the dialogue is snappy giving it the refreshing feeling of improvisation; this is what makes the film so special, it is sufficient, sentimental and honest . The sincerity of the acting is what gives Son of Rambow such an interesting twist that is so hard to find these days in the cinematic world and the pure-hearted nature of the comedy will keep you interested and entertained the length of the film. With fantastic use of animation, perspective and perfect pacing, Son of Rambow uses its British-ness to poke fun at the French and even themselves. In a recent Q&A I personally attended with the director and writers, they revealed that much of the story was taken from instances in their childhood and was based on their notions of growing up in England, showing that though anyone could write a script similar to this, nobody could execute it as precisely as they. This light-hearted comedy is insightful and mature, yet by the end brings out the child in each of us. I have a sneeking suspicion it will not receive the praise it truly deserves and for this alone, I highly reccomend seeing this film.


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Batman: Gotham Knight

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Posted on 10 July 2008 by nwertanen99

In efforts to cash in on the frenzy for the upcoming The Dark Knight, Warner Bros. and D.C. Comics have released the third in the newly established D.C. Universe animated movies on DVD, following the footsteps of last fall’s Superman: Doomsday, and this past winter’s Justice League: The New Frontier. The film takes six different stories (and six very different animation styles) centering on Batman, Lt.Gordon and the status of Gotham City since the events in Batman Begins in 2005. Effectively, the collection of animated shorts is meant both to give viewers insight and knowledge that fills in the “gaps” between the two motion pictures Batman Begins and The Dark Knight. Think what the Wachowski brothers did with The Animatrix, filling in the gaps inbetween The Matrix and The Matrix Reloaded, only nowhere near as cool and nowhere near as watchable.

Batman, when you stop and think about it, should be the perfect candidate for Japanese animation, a.k.a. anime, and yet most of the styles represented in Batman:Gotham Knight are terribly unappealing to watch. Sadly, the better styles are often on the less action-filled pieces and just leave you wanting more and wondering about what could have been. Batman is an iconic character, a majestic character and the appeal to his story (when told right) is the darkness of it, the grittiness of Gotham, its criminals and even of Batman himself. Despite popular opinion (much of which is still based on the terribly campy and inaccurate 1960’s T.V. show), Batman is not a happy story. it is a story about a man who loses everything. His parents are murdered in front of his eyes when he is a young child and he turns that helpless rage into something greater. There is a delicate unbalance within Batman, and its why so few screenwriters have captured the character very well. In Gotham Knight, very few of the stories bother to showcase this, or even make much attempt at action. Much of the 74 minute film is talking heads, which works great when its great actors performing it, but not in an animated Batman film, which makes slight attempts to fill us in on the state of things between films, but nothing remarkable occurs, and my guess is anyone skipping this DVD won’t be missing much, if anything at all. For example, nothing is said or mentioned about either Harvey Dent or the Joker, who was set-up in the conclusion of Batman Begins.

Perhaps the greatest disappointment is the collection of great comic book, and film writers responsible for the six stories, who collectively lay one giant egg. Veteran comic book writers Brian Azzarello, Greg Rucka and others turn in stories that seem like they were concieved on the taxi-ride over to the production meeting. David Goyer, co-writer on both Batman Begins and the upcoming The Dark Knight, does provide one of the only two entertaining stories, entitled In Darkness Dwells, focusing on “Killer Croc” and what the Scarecrow has been up to since escaping at the end of Begins. Aside from Goyer’s piece, the only other entertaining short (to me) was the final, much too short, piece introducing a brand new villian named “Deadshot.” The piece also sets up the notion that the crime world is now on the defensive and are beginning to realize they must rid themselves of Batman to restore things to what they used to be. The remaining shorts, varied in animation quality, all just leave you feeling empty and frustrated. All of them are much too short to accomplish any solid storytelling, and the little tidbits of information that may set things up in The Dark Knight don’t make the film worth watching in the slightest.

The only truely great thing is the addition of Kevin Conroy’s voice as Bruce Wayne and Batman in all six shorts. Conroy has been doing the voice of Batman on all the recent animated series’ from D.C. and Warner Bros., including Batman: The Animated Series, Justice League and Batman: Beyond. His familiar tone does ground any longtime fans of Batman and his animated adventures with a sense of comfort, even if the writing and animation around that voice falls short. Ironically, the best things about the DVD (the single disc version anyhow) is the emmaculate digital preview for The Dark Knight and the 10 minute sneak peek at 2009’s Wonder Woman animated movie, which looks extremely fun, accurate and well casted. Too bad none of the those qualities can be used to describe Gotham Knight, a total letdown and complete waste of time…even for the hardcore fan. Thankfully, The Dark Knight looks to be a true masterpiece for both critics, fans and casual movie-goers and the memory of Gotham Knight will be lost and forgotten quickly.


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The Spiderwick Chronicles

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Posted on 09 July 2008 by Derek Fleek

After stumbling upon a book in the basement on their new home, twin brothers Jared and Simon Grace, along with their sister Mallory, become pulled into a world of faeries and goblins. This book, known as The Spiderwick Field Guide, was written by a man named Arthur Spiderwick, who was abducted by faeries. It tells them everything they need to know about how to kill goblins and call upon mythical birds for help. Now they must protect the book from these creatures and find Arthur Spiderwick to put an end to the mayhem.

There really isn’t much good to say about this noisy and frantic fantasy that lacks all but a single good actor. Lazy CGI effects bombard the screen, along with screaming faeries that are about as annoying as nails on a chalk board. It is as if they took the cheapest computer technology available, enhanced it ever so slightly, then decided to add some impaired voices into the mix. Nick Nolte, Martin Short, and Seth Rogen are some of the loud, unfamiliar voices that crowd the screen. It really irks me that these characters are so pesky, yet they are voiced by some rather talented people.

It’s an irritating fantasy that seems rushed and deserved a release to the rental shelves rather than to the silver screen with such poor CGI work. Freddy Highmore plays dual roles comfortably, but the supporting cast of live actors (including Mary-Louise Parker who has shown some serious acting skills in the Showtime series Weeds) were unconvincing and the CGI beasties are about as irritating as an itch you can’t reach.

It starts off with dark, atmospheric set pieces that look really good and quickly turns into a ridiculous story gorged with silly moments. The film’s intentions were to take the audience into a world of fantasy (where ridiculous is acceptable to some extent). Instead, the film goes beyond preposterous and ends up being completely far-fetched.

So we have one good actor, several sub-par actors, an overuse of undernourished CGI effects, and a line of uninteresting characters. It’s a putrid mess, a film that doesn’t have a clue as to what defines entertainment and ends up being obnoxious. It is sad that none of this is quality entertainment and all of it is a nuisance to eyes and ears.

The entire film was a waste of time I could’ve spent watching some sort of solid entertainment, and a waste of money the filmmakers could’ve spent making a better film. The bottom line is it was nothing more than a noisy monstrosity and a eulogy to poorly executed family flicks. 1.5/5 stars


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Hancock

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Posted on 03 July 2008 by pippy

Will Smith still has it! Hancock stars Will Smith and Charlize Theron in an action film. This movie will fly you right up to the sky!

Will Smith stars as Hancock a superhero who needs an attitude adjustment and who needs to stop drinking. The town is tired of picking up the damages rather than having a superhero who does his duty properly. But this hero has a makeover when he saves a man who has a charming wife (Charlize Theron) who hides more than Hancock knows.

The camera was shaking in the beginning of the movie. The wife’s husband’s face was shaking when he was giving a presentation that made you go dizzy. The camera soon picked up when the action started happeneing.

The story had romance but it wasn’t a big deal. When Hancock falls for Ray’s wife, he finds that he would rather not hurt his friend. The wife however, knows more about Hancock than her own husband. I liked that they didn’t have an affair because it wouldn’t have been the way it ended.

Overall, this movie is a must see and Will Smith still has acting skills. Will and Charlize have a good throw down by the end of it all.


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The Incredible Hulk

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Posted on 02 July 2008 by candicedice

The Incredible Hulk starring Edward Norton is fun thrill ride with great special effect, a great story, and even better cameos.

The Incredible Hulk is a story about a man working for the U.S. Military who gets injected with an experimental drug that cause him to grow at an incredible rate when he gets angry oh ya and he turns green. Eric Banner(Norton) is on the run trying to control his anger and life a new life in Brazil when the military find him and he begins to run again. He finally ends up in America (Virginia I believe) where he finds his ex-girlfriend Betty (Liv Tyler) and continues to run. His main goal is to get rid of this power so he can live a normal life. The problem is that Betty’s father wants to kidnap him and use his power as a weapon for the U.S. Gen. Ross (William Hurt) hires Emil Blonsky a decorated military veteran to get the job done. Eventually Blonsky gets the same injection and become a nasty monster himself the two then meet in New York City(Harlem) and the battle begins. The Hulk triumph and is on the run only it appears that Banner can control the power of the Hulk.

This film is fun exciting and extremely entertain and is great for the whole family. This film is just a kick in the pants ride leaving you wanting more. When the idea was first presented I was very hesitant to go see the film based on the 05′ disaster, but this film delivered oh and you’re just going to have to go see the film to see the great cameo in the film.


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Jumper

Reviewer's Rating: This entry has a rating of 1
Rate This Movie: (Time Waster!)(It Sucks)(So... So...)(Watch This!)(Get the DVD!) (8 votes, score: 2 out of 5)
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Posted on 02 July 2008 by nwertanen99

Based off the novel by Steven Gould, Jumper is directed by Doug Liman and adapted for the screen by David Goyer, Jim Uhls and Simon Kinberg. It tells the tale of a young man who discovers he has the ability to teleport anywhere in the world with only a thought, and the ancient society that has hunted those like him for centuries.

David Rice (Hayden Christiansen) discovers at a young age that he has some sort of genetic anamoly which allows him to teleport anywhere in the world. Irresponsibly, he uses his abilities to rob banks and live the high life style in a New York penthouse, which attracts the attention of a secret society, called Paladins, which have been hunting down Jumpers for centuries. He returns to his hometown in Michigan, and unwittingly drags his childhood crush, Millie (Rachel Bilson), into the mix and is approached by another Jumper, calling himself Griffin (Jamie Bell), who has been waging his own war against the Paladins for years.

Often told by frustratingly bad narration by Christiansen, Jumper is another example of movie that just aimed way too low. The premise is sound, and should’ve made for a much grander and more excting movie than it actually is. The special effects are nifty, but even those get used to an excessive degree as the movie rolls on and the “jumps” become much more frequent. Perhaps the movie’s main failing is the numerous loose ends and unexplained plot twists. Also, the movie’s central plot, Sam Jackson hunting Hayden Christiansen down, begins so quickly in the movie, that the film ultimately becomes your standard “run and hide” movie until it becomes the even more cliche “time to save the girl” movie in the end.

The three young stars all seem over there heads in the movie. Jaime Bell was awful and outacted by everyone in 2005’s King Kong and he just comes off as a mumbling bafoon in this movie. Rachel Bilson did a remarkably good job in The Last Kiss, but just seemed to play the sexy damsel in distress in this one, and had no character depth what-so-ever. Then there’s Hayden Christensen, who many people ceaselessly attacked for his performance as Anakin Skywalker in the Star Wars prequels. As a Star Wars fan, I actually liked what he did in those films, but he comes off as dry and confused in this movie.

Sam Jackson is about the only redeemable thing in the movie, even if he does look ridiculous with the white hair, but regardless adds much needed depth to an otherwise poorly acted film. But alas, not even the great Sam Jackson can save an otherwise dull sci-fi wannabee, that obviously banked on its young hearttrobs and dazzling effects being able to mask a poorly crafted, poorly written and poorly executed flop. In short…it didn’t.


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Fool’s Gold

Reviewer's Rating: This entry has a rating of 0.5
Rate This Movie: (Time Waster!)(It Sucks)(So... So...)(Watch This!)(Get the DVD!) (5 votes, score: 3.8 out of 5)
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Posted on 30 June 2008 by Wes Laurie

Fool’s Gold was directed by Andy Tennant and stars Matthew “No Shirt” McConaughey and Kate Hudson, along with support from the likes of Donald Sutherland. There are other recognizable faces, but really if I were in this movie I’d want my name wiped off it.

The plot: A newly divorced couple that may still be in love with each other bicker as they hunt for treasure, seeking to get the gold before a local rapper/gangster does and kills them.

The premise sounds great for a mindless romantic action comedy. Indeed there are some decent set pieces, but strung together the entire movie sinks. If I had not read the synopsis on the back of the DVD case I wouldn’t of had a clue what was going on in the first section of the movie. Why? Muddled and horrible dialog mixed with poor acting: the actors all mumble! This is meant to be a comedy and the punch -lines and one-liner moments all fall to lame and obvious meaning: the funny of lacking.

Who do I blame for this movie being a stinker? Everyone involved from the start to the finish: bad acting, directing, writing: the whole nine. Logic doesn’t need to work in the world of movies, but sometimes things just get so stupid you cannot help but want to bust your televisions screen from annoyance. Fool’s Gold is FILLED TO THE BRIM with logical errors, pandering to the assumption that most of its viewers are morons. In the beginning sequences of the flick a boat catches fire, burns, and explodes! It sinks to the bottom of the ocean, where it is magically still intact and McConaughey swims into it to retrieve a picture. Wow, that must have been one hell of a camera for it to have survived the explosion! Next thing I will point out is when McConaughey is tossed to the bottom of the ocean with an anchor toed around his legs. The director makes sure to show you they have driven him out into the middle of nowhere, no land as far as the eye can see. M.C. drops into the watery grave, all the way to the ocean floor; yep, hits bottom. Then he shoots the chain off of his legs and swims back to the surface. How deep is this ocean? Look at that, it went and made me swear.

Fool’s Gold lacks any gold, just fools.

Stupid.


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Movie Review: 10,000 BC

Reviewer's Rating: N/A
Rate This Movie: (Time Waster!)(It Sucks)(So... So...)(Watch This!)(Get the DVD!) (5 votes, score: 1.2 out of 5)
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Posted on 30 June 2008 by Wes Laurie

When 10,000 BC hit theaters it was trashed by outraged historians and critics alike over its complete misrepresentation of real history; places, people, and creatures. Hey, people! It’s a movie!

10,000 BC was directed by acclaimed director Roland Emmerich who has directed such hits as: The Day After Tomorrow, The Patriot, Independence Day, Stargate, and my favorite: Universal Soldier. The movie stars mainly unknowns as far as Hollywood stars go, though I did recognize Cliff Curtis in a supporting role; which made things silly seeing him in dreads and acting all cave man-ish. I would give the lead actor a shout out, but call me the lazy reviewer not wanting to look him up or even what his character’s name was; they all had non-memorable names.

The plot: a tribe finds they are having a hard time keeping food in stock every year and an old lady in the tribe says that one of their young men will grow up to save them and fall in love with the blue-eyed girl they found in the mountains. Well, the girl is kidnapped and the young man who loves her goes on the quest to track her down and save his people.

The action moments involving CGI and big animals such as killer birds, a saber toothed tiger, and mammoths are the best parts and yet equally silly at times. If they could have kept more of this action in the movie it would have been a bit better really; weird to hear me calling for more CGI. The saber toothed tiger needed more screen time for sure. Another odd thing is the narrator throughout the story did not bother me either. In fact, overall I would say forget the stupid historians and critics, this is a mindless flick and easy watching for the most part.

Now let me pick on it a bit. The logical errors are many, one example: the lead guy climbs a wall and drops into the prison of some captives to tell them they will be rescued. When guards start coming near them he bounds back over the wall. The prisoners are not in shackles, why couldn’t they have just bounded over the wall the entire time? Another issue I had with the flick is that these tribesmen fight giant mammoths and other bizarre animals, yet when the bad guys come riding in on horses they call them four legged demons and are scared of them. How the hell is a horse more scary than a giant elephant creature? Why couldn’t they figure out what a horse was? The hit and miss instances of gullibility of the people populating this fictional world of historical inaccuracies gets annoying and seems like the writer’s were mis-matched and lazy in plotting. Another annoying thing to the story was all of the cutting back to the Old Woman in the tribe as the adventurers go through trials, she sits at home and moans a bunch and every time there is action we go back and watch her moan.

If you want a mindless rental, with some interesting action moments, this is an okay movie overall; a movie!


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Wall-E

Reviewer's Rating: This entry has a rating of 4.5
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Posted on 29 June 2008 by nwertanen99

Written and Directed by Andrew Stanton (Finding Nemo, Toy Story 2), Wall-E is the sixth animated film released by Pixar and Walt Disney Studios.

Over 700 years into the future, Earth has been abandoned by Humanity after the planet has become uninhabitable after Humans have polluted the planet so much with toxic gases and garbage. While Humanity waits it out onboard luxury spacecrafts they’ve left the job of cleaning up the Earth to robots, and now only one such robot remains, an adorable little guy named Wall-E (which stands for Waste-Allocated-Load-Lifter-Earth class) , who has developed one minor glitch in his isolation on Earth; he’s developed a personality. While spending his days fulfilling his duties as a trash remover and compactor, Wall-E also finds little trinkets left behind by Humans that spark his curiosity. In particular, Wall-E seems to have developed a taste for old romance films and seems to long for companionship. Then, one day Humans sends a robot to scan the soil of the Earth for evidence of plant-life, which would signal the ability for Humans to return home to Earth. Wall-E is immediately captivated with EVE (which stands for Extraterrestrial-Vegetation-Evaluator), and attempts to win her over, but when Wall-E shows her the plant sample he recently found, EVE goes into auto-mode and is returned to her ship. Wall-E, believing she is danger, follows her on an intergalactic adventure and wackyness ensues. 

Filled with delightful moments, humor and spectacular visuals, Wall-E is just as exciting and entertaining as the previous five gems that Pixar has released. The amazing level of detail in the film is what will stand out the most while watching it, especially in the gloomy opening of the movie, which establishes the apocalyptic atmosphere of Earth and that of Wall-E’s daily activities trying to clean things up. He has litterally been at this for hundreds of years, and has stacked compacted trash cubes so high that he has equaled the height of the remaining skyscrapers. We see clues as to what happened, that a global corporation named Buy and Large more or less took over everything and helped spiral humanity into a sea of needless spending, waste and enivtably to rendering the planet useless. You can’t help but feel sad and depressed at what you’re seeing, because let’s face it, it’s a real possibility with the way things are going in the world today.  

Accompanying Wall-E on his daily routine is a humerous cockroache, who more than once is hilariously almost run over by Wall-E. It’s a humerous nod to the old jokes about nuclear war and about the end of time, that the only things left on the planet are cockroache’s and the Twinkie snack-cakes Wall-E feeds him early on. That’s not the only wink and nod to pop-culture or classic Sci-Fi films however, the film is litterally filled with references and homages to the great films of yesteryear. Look closely (and often not that closely at all) and you’ll see references to “The Matrix”, “2001: A Space Odyssey”, “E.T.”, “Silent Running” and a few others as well. Homages aside, Wall-E is a tremendous treat and wonderful film to just sit back and experience. There is a child-like innocence to Wall-E and his curiosity is what makes him so compelling and (let’s face it) human. Perhaps the greatest statement that could be made about the film is the fact that 70% of it has no dialogue, just the stellar and outstanding sound effects by “Star Wars” sound editor Ben Burtt, who lent his genius to create the lovable R2-D2 and many others in those films. Burtt’s amazing sound effects, coupled with an amazing musical score and great details, serve to pull the audience in for an amazing ride, and we go along willingly and are caught up in the spectacle, even if an occassional scene seems a tad slow. 

The overall themes and message of the movie is like a punch to the gut. Anyone who doesn’t feel a bit queasy after seeing this movie and thinking about how realistic its possible outcome is just doesn’t have an ounze of humanity within them. It’s ironic and somewhat depressing to witness the whole of the human race literally stuck in a mindless routine, caught up in the ruthless machine of blind consumerism, litterally sitting around doing nothing and expecting robots to fullfil there every need and wim. Humanity is literally a slave to its own creations, and has become a race of mindless, soulless, jaded and self-centered sloths who are barely aware of the world (or ship) around them. Yet, there are still robots who run around with a natural curiosity about them, a childlike innocence that the humans in the film lack. Indeed, its telling that we identify with Wall-E and many of the other robots more than we do the humans in the film. Which is saying something when you recall how little dialogue exists between the robots. It’s there actions, body-language and subtle communication that makes us love them. Who can help but love adorable little M-O when he obessevely runs around trying to clean up Wall-E’s tracks? 

Wall-E may not be the greatest animated film ever produced, nor even the best Pixar film, but it reminds us that sometimes going to the movies can be (and should be) nothing more than just an enjoyable and relaxed event, one that also helps us remember what it was like to see these types of movies with the eyes of our childhood. Movies shouldn’t be these items we ceaselessly evaluate and disect, sometimes we can just be entertained. Wall-E speaks to the inner child in all of us, curious and longing for more.


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