Wanted was directed by Timur Bekmambetov who is the Russian-Kazakh director known for the visually impressive movies Night Watch and it’s sequel Day Watch. I wasn’t a fan of either of those movies and the movie trailers for Wanted looked a bit silly. However, once I started reading some early screening reviews and hearing fan boys of the graphic comic book it is based upon talk up the story, I decided I needed to see it. Good decision because it was a nice little eye-candy treat.

Wanted stars James McAvoy, Angelina Jolie, Morgan Freeman, Terence Stamp, and Common. The plot involves an average joe kind of guy who thinks he is prone to panic attacks and knows he is dying in the routine of office work and his personal relationships; such as his girlfriend that is having sex with his best friend. Well, it turns out he is the offspring of an assassin and the panic attacks are really some of his adrenaline fueled special abilities. This is all discovered when he is recruited into The Fraternity, the group of assassins changing the world based off of their fate decided murders of people around the globe. A rogue assassin, however, is now killing them off one by one and the James McAvoy character is told his father was killed by this rogue and that it is time for him to step up and face destiny as a member of The Fraternity. Not a hard decision for him to make, joining their team, with a gun being put to his head often and his regular life being so dismal.

This is a movie meant to be seen on a big screen with full throttle sound. Many people have been exclaiming that the action reminds them of how The Matrix came out and was cutting edge. I would not go as far to say that, but will agree that the CGI heavy action provides for many fun visuals. My statement involving the big screen is based on prior experience with CGI laden films and how CGI just looks sillier on smaller screens.

Everything about Wanted is “cool.” If I were going to make a comparison to other flicks I would say it is not just a mindless action movie in the style of The Transporter meets The Matrix, but with more intelligent narration ala Fight Club mixed in. It has a lot of quirky humor and a strong message involving individuals and grasping destiny or making dreams happen ala wake up and smell the roses. There was one stupid and magical aspect of things involving how the assassination targets are picked from a weaving loom, but other than that everything was handled very well and fully entertaining.

Most any viewer, even those who cover their eyes during some of the bloody scenes, should enjoy it. The ending started to look like it was going to be a cop-out set up for a sequel, but then the story ends on a powerful and full-circle note of grand, violent humor and satisfactorily conclusive.

Yes, Angelina Jolie is looking lean and sexy and there is a scene where her character steps out of a bath of healing wax-water butt naked.

Resurrecting The Champ was directed by Rod Lurie and is based on a true story that was based on a lie. It is about a struggling sportswriter who meets a homeless man who tells him he is a former boxing champ. Desperate to change is life, the sports writer latches on to the homeless man and gets his story published to critical acclaim. However, soon after the story comes out it is obvious that all of the facts don’t exactly match up. The movie stars Josh Hartnett as the writer and Samuel L. Jackson as the homeless boxer.

I do not have anything personal against actor Josh Hartnett, I think he is perfect for certain roles. However, I do not think he was the right choice for leading this drama. In such a slow paced movie Josh Hartnett’s expressionless slow acting heaps boring on top of boring. Really the acting comes down to a battle of Josh Hartnett’s hair versus Samuel L. Jackson’s funny voice. Yes, Hartnett’s hair is perfectly combed and weird looking on his head, so much so that it distracts Yes, Samuel L. Jackson’s character talks in a funny voice the entire time, which gets annoying at certain points, though ultimately ends up not being as bad as Hartnett’s hair and its performance. Jackson’s character has the best lines of the movie and becomes the lovable scamp sort of entity easily winning your sympathies.

Did I mention this movie is very boring? Every move within the plot that is made is predictable and nothing ever happens to shake things up. I was not familiar with the true story this was based on, so I thought maybe something would jump out as interesting to me. Nope. Resurrecting The Champ is dead on arrival.

Teeth: if you pay attention to horror news at all you know it is the “movie where the girl’s vagina has teeth.” I’ll tell you my thoughts after having watched it and whether or not it lives up to its campy premise and festival circuit buzz, being out on DVD.

Teeth was directed by Mitchell Lichtenstein and the female lead was done by Jess Weixler. The plot, as plucked from IMDB: “High school student Dawn works hard at suppressing her budding sexuality by being the local chastity group’s most active participant. Her task is made even more difficult by her bad boy stepbrother Brad’s increasingly provocative behavior at home. A stranger to her own body, innocent Dawn discovers she has a toothed vagina when she becomes the object of violence. As she struggles to comprehend her anatomical uniqueness, Dawn experiences both the pitfalls and the power of being a living example of the vagina dentata myth.”

At first the movie almost feels like someone attempting to tap into the same quirky vibe present in a Tim Burton movie. It’s hard to explain why, since there weren’t elaborate fantasy sets or Johnny Depp with a funky hair-do, but it just felt that way. Yet, at the same time the director, who also wrote the film, put his own stamp on it. There is a reason Tim Burton’s stamp is way more valuable though; another thing that cannot be explained and is best felt; ha. The set-up in Teeth is a long one punch joke, meaning everything in the characters lives seems to be about repressed sexual urges, literally every conversation, situation, or shot has something to do with sex; even the holes in trees are lingered on for too long to seem like bodily orifice replicas. The joke is good for a bit, but wears thin really quick.

So, you get moved on from the humor and set up and get into the crucial turning point of things: the rape scene. The problem with the first violent attack of vagina teeth is the fact that 99% of people going to see this movie already know this is going to happen. Thus, all the power of the scene is truly lost and when you should be getting pulled out of the boring stupor that the set-up dropped you into you are instead just yawning some more. Eventually I wanted to fast forward.

The gore in this movie is quite explicit, if you’ve ever wanted shots of  severed penises and penis stumps spurting blood: you’ll be pleased. However, the horror movie devices used in this film along with the campy way it is executed steals away from the meat of things which is the coming of age story involving the girl. Yes, this was a very creative way to tell such a tale, but overall it ends up as just a gimmick style film, or as a I stated a long joke with a redundantly used punch line.

On the acting front of things Jess Weixler is quite interesting with a wide range of facial gestures that make her fun to watch. She does look quite a bit like Heather Graham, but fresher. The actor who played her demented brother in the film was equally interesting to see: John Hensley.

Final thoughts: You’re probably going to want to see this just to be able to say you saw the vagina with teeth movie. (no you do not get any shots of the vagina) Aside from some interesting actors and a few campy jokes, this movie gets boring by the halfway mark and even though there is a wonderfully creepy old man in the ending, you may find yourself fast forwarding through the rest of the penis decapitations to get there.

Untraceable was directed by Gregory Hoblit, who also directed the thriller Fracture. The movie follows an FBI cyber crime unit as they try to stop a new breed of killer. Someone is killing people live on the internet, devising the murders in a way that the more website visits he gets the quicker the victim dies; essentially making curious internet surfers accomplices to murder. The movie stars Diane Lane, Billy Burke, and Colin Hanks.

To start out with: the movie has lots of bad dialog, the actors cannot be to blame for the stale way in which they deliver such lines. However, I was able to push past such things and “go with the flow.” In this way I was able to indeed find entertainment value. The director sets a solid moody tone with darkness and visual shots which were the main thing that kept me into the film regardless of my initially not being impressed with the dialog. The tension and action is built up quite well.

The premise is an intriguing one, which many automatically want to chalk up to as being a gimmick to become preachy on the way society acts towards violence in the new age of internet media and how people will watch snuff films such as beheadings and or suicides  without thinking how this affects the families of the victims. People would visit the killer’s website to see someone die, whether or not they knew he was a good guy with a family. I thought the obvious morality message was not preached too heavily and was handled fairly well.

People who cannot help but pick apart logic flaws, especially computer savvy or chemical savvy folks, will probably not get as much enjoyment out of this movie. Why did the battery acid melt through skin and bone, but not the plastic ties binding his arms? There are lots of liberties taken and unrealistic scenarios. However, if you hop into this ride just looking for some entertainment: it is a worthy rental. The only thing I will caution viewers about though is the gore factor. The deaths in this movie are fairly brutal and gory ala skin getting melted off and such.

A flocking stupid movie!

The Flock was directed by Andrew Lau Wai-Keung  who gained loads of fame for his movie Infernal Affairs; which was the basis for the Oscar winning movie The Departed. The cast for The Flock features Richard Gere and Claire Danes in the leads.  Avril Lavigne is listed in the credits, but her role doesn’t really include a speaking part and last for maybe a minute.

The story: Erroll Babbage (Richard Gere) has spent his career tracking sex offenders and his unorthodox methods are nearly as brutal as the criminals he monitors. When he links one of his deranged parolees to the disappearance of a local girl he and his new partner (Claire Danes) must scour the S&M underground to find her before it’s too late.

The premise sounded interesting to me and fans of the movie Seven might see this straight to DVD feature at their local Blockbuster and think: recognizable actors, interesting premise, what could be so wrong? Let me rain on your parade before you think you’ve just found one of those diamonds in the rough not grand enough to hit the big screen. The Flock is a mess of a movie. As for it being like Seven: they pretty much steal the entire final scene of that movie, except take out the shock and replace it with a cop out happy ending.

The acting in the movie is not bad at all. The story and directing are 100% off though. The basis of the movie involves men who are registered as sex offenders. Apparently in the town Richard Gere’s character lives in almost every other person is a sex offender. Okay, they are in California, large population, I can buy that there are loads of sex criminals. However, in this movie every single one of the sex offenders is portrayed as an over-the-top pervert who breathes heavy at the mere mention of their sexual urges. Every single one of them is a luridly creepy pervert with wonky eyes or obviously still committing vicious crimes, all but one; which naturally points to that one as being the one to watch out for; duh. Oops, did I ruin a plot twist for you? Maybe, but that is because I am telling you NOT TO WATCH THIS AT ALL! It is rare that I cannot find a reason to at least understand why someone likes a bad movie, but this is one if those that is so messed up that if you actually like it: you are not the brightest bulb.

Let me continue with how stupid this flick is. Wai-Keung or the writers, or most likely a combination of the two, haven’t a clue about the subject matter they are handling. They portray people with fetishes as people who cannot control their urges whatsoever. A dude that is into hands is not going to attack every pair of women’s hands he sees and sniff them: he would not be loose if that were true. They also more or less say hand fetish and foot fetish people love to get off on the sight of severed limbs ala feet and hands. I would have to think that is a particular niche of necrophilia, but apparently amongst the pervs in this flick’s world: that is the norm. The sex offenders of the movie not only commit crimes like some sort of super group of comic book villains, but they gather and hold meetings about their addictions without a counselor present. The concept is showing that sex offenders will flock together and work together thanks to special sexual desires and the fact that they can look each other up on the internet. Smart idea to show this, but it is handled in a ridiculous manner.

Once the dragging boring movie does reach the tension of the final sequences as half stolen from Seven, I was so far out of the movie that everything was just bad and corny. Gere’s character is logically flawed and the happy ending does not fit him. He would have been in quite a bit of legal trouble for not only beating people up (I can buy he got away with it), but the public shooting at the sex offenders meeting where he threatened them and busted off caps by their ears: he wouldn’t get away with that.

This movie is flocking stupid. You can become a registered sex offender for getting caught peeing in public, not every sex offender is a wonky-eyed, drooling, complete creepozoid.

The Walker was written and directed by Paul Schrader, a man with a mixed bag of past credits. He wrote the screenplay adaptation for Bringing Out the Dead, directed the prequel to the Exorcist, directed American Gigolo, and also wrote and directed the powerful drama Affliction. Dramatic pacing should be his thing and his thing is slower than some, but not as slow as others; with enough attention to detail to provide plenty of intrigue.

The Walker stars Woody Harrleson with Kristin Scott Thomas, Lauren Becall, Lily Tomlin, and William Dafoe. The story centers around Woody’s character, Carter, and his lifestyle as a gay man who escorts older married women around town while their husbands are busy. It is a fancy and rich life he leads, rich with gossip and soon rich with conspiracy as he is drawn into a murder mystery involving a man one of his lady friends was having an affair with.

This movie is a hard one to really recommend and yet I did not dislike it. My eyes may have wondered to check the clock a couple of times during, but I never felt the desire to turn the movie off. This is thanks to the interesting character and the director’s keen directing. The acting from everyone is good as well, though I will say Woody Harrleson’s gay accent slurs a bit too deep and Southern sometimes to be understandable. The chemistry between himself and the actor playing is boyfriend was very intense.

The best way to describe this movie would be to compare it to a similar paced movie and that would be Michael Clayton. If you liked Michael Clayton, The Walker may be more confusing a plot or more simple a plot (could go either way for you), but ultimately I prefer The Walker. I think Michael Clayton was a blatant Oscar bid sort of movie which lacked acting and relied on slow camera close ups of a man just staring. The Walker might not have the cute and cliché twist ending of Clayton, but throughout the movie remained more intriguing for me. I especially liked Carter’s apartment set in the movie along with the music played as he preps for bed, and finally the camera work used during a foot pursuit late in the game. Almost at times bordered on a noir vibe.

The Walker is not a movie I recommend and yet I liked it enough. As conflicting a review as this may seem I’m not sure how else to really describe it for you. Perhaps I have inspired your curiosity to check it out for yourself, or perhaps I have scared you away; either thing works fine for me.

Director Patrick Rea of SenoReality Pictures sent me a copy of one of his latest short films: PAINT SHAKER. The story was written by Jon Niccum.

SenoReality is based out of Kansas, so naturally The Wizard of Oz has a special place in their movie-loving hearts. Or at least as displayed in Paint Shaker has a place in their philosophical ponderings and curiosity. The film is introduced by bringing to one’s attention the moment within the Wizard of Oz when Dorothy and pals are getting ready to go get the Wicked Witch and the Scarecrow of all things is seen holding a gun. Most people have probably overlooked this aspect of detail without pondering: where did he get a gun? Google it, you’ll find all sorts of explanations and theory.

Paint Shaker, though approached with some artsy meaning that can be open to the viewers interpretation, (for example: one person I viewed it with was completely baffled as to what the point was or what it could have meant, whereas another one was given too much that he could elaborate upon endlessly) the basic premise of the film revolves around three employees at a hardware store, their boss, and then an employee that was fired, returning with a shotgun.

The picture quality of Paint Shaker is high class, though there is a lot of blurring effect used, ala things in the background are a blur when your attention is to be on the actors at the forefront. Not being a filmmaker myself I cannot say whether this was an artistic choice being toyed with or if it was making due with the budget and equipment. All I can say is that it did not bother me and looked good for an Indie production.

The violence of the movie is counter balanced with funny little bits that are every day life cute and identifiable. One character is looking to get Saturday off, whereas another refuses to cover for him because he is planning to spend quality time with a video game, and when the disgruntled guy with the gun comes into the store one character is more fascinated than scared as the shooting begins.

It all ends with a serious murder suicide situation turning out at least one positive benefit for one character and some things for him to briefly ponder about life. However, the depth can overall be seen as a touch of reality, these are the random thoughts that go through our minds, these are the horrible events that take place everyday, and this is the quirky humor with which we take it all in stride.

This is a short to be checked out if you find a place to do so, currently if you want to check out other works by Patrick Rea stop in at their webpage www.senoreality.com or they are on YOUTUBE

The plot for Otis involves a man who kidnaps young girls and forces them to act out his high school fantasy of taking them to the prom and getting lucky afterwards. He doesn’t seem to have much luck and has gone through and had to kill five girls, but his latest seems promising. Until she escapes and her family decides to cut the authorities out of the loop when it comes to justice and how they would like it served.

The movie is a comedy, a satire if you will, of the torture horror genre, along with the all too common psychopaths and their actions in reality. The important thing for this horror movie then isn’t being scary, but rather: is it funny? Indeed it is, many chuckles to be had throughout.

The cast features some notable names such as Daniel Stern, Illeana Douglas, and Kevin Pollack. However, it is the title character that really steals the show: Otis as played by Bostin Christopher. Yes, he is sick and demented, yet at the same time there are sequences where you actually feel almost sorry for him, one specifically involves dancing under a disco ball while his captive tries to remain terrified and not grin. This acting leads a hint of reality based identifiably to the story and characters and is then counterbalanced with completely absurd characters such as the FBI agent with an 8% recovery rate. The absurd is mixed just right though and brings the joke full circle.

The only issue I had was with the “joke” itself. The movie plays like one joke with many facets, but ultimately the same joke: laugh at this disturbing situation. This causes some drag and instead of fast paced action I started finding my mind wandering. It never got too boring though and each set piece was enjoyable, even if some were too long. Other than that I’ve got a television that for some reason amplifies music in movies and there was a lot of music laced throughout that seemed overkill at times, yet a perfect fit others. So, what does this mean? It means nothing is perfect, but Otis was a pretty good flick!

American Meth is a documentary from director Justin Hunt that shows the trials and tribulation families in America can and do face due to the usage of the drug Meth. The movie is narrated in parts by actor Val Kilmar, who has starred in a movie involving meth before called The Salton Sea. The Salton Sea is a pretty cool flick if you haven’t seen it, rent that, instead of this.

American Meth goes from an interesting and potentially educational premise to being a very, very boring and fairly off subject reality show following a more or less uneventful family consisting of two supposed meth addicted parents. The kids are adorable and make for some cute moments overall, which doubles as tugs on the ole heart strings when you look at their overall living situation. However, having spent a great deal of time visiting the ghettos of Missouri and living in at least one trailer park I could have picked out a way more tragic or interesting person or people to follow. More shock value was needed in this production to sober up the minds of casual drugs users and to grasp the attention of those not fully aware of how strong and powerful meth is spreading across our country.  True, the goal of the flick was to possibly show how meth infiltrates every day life and the lives of everyday average people, but ultimately it was with every day average results. Mainly what I witnessed in American Meth was a trailer park couple arguing a whole bunch about crap that didn’t interest me. Hell, that happens all the time without meth.

There are many documentaries starting to surface over the usage of meth and I’ve got to think there are more compelling and overall worthy ones to watch than American Meth.

In fact check Wikipedia for a more revealing look even on the history of meth and what it does, then go walking around your own town and ask some kids where you can score some, and interview people if you want to grasp the reality of it all.

From Wikipedia:
“Methamphetamine enters the brain and triggers a cascading release of norepinephrine, dopamine and serotonin. To a lesser extent methamphetamine acts as a dopaminergic and adrenergic reuptake inhibitor and in high concentrations as a monamine oxidase inhibitor (MAOI). Since it stimulates the mesolimbic reward pathway, causing euphoria and excitement, it is prone to abuse and addiction. Users may become obsessed or perform repetitive tasks such as cleaning, hand-washing, or assembling and disassembling objects. Withdrawal is characterized by excessive sleeping, eating, and depression-like symptoms, often accompanied by anxiety and drug-craving. Users of methamphetamine sometimes take sedatives such as benzodiazepines as a means of easing their “come down”.

Common nicknames for methamphetamine include “meth”, “ice”, “crystal”, “tina”, “p”, “bitch” and “glass”. Methamphetamine is sometimes referred to as “speed”, but this term is usually used for regular amphetamine or dextroamphetamine.”

Fool’s Gold was directed by Andy Tennant and stars Matthew “No Shirt” McConaughey and Kate Hudson, along with support from the likes of Donald Sutherland. There are other recognizable faces, but really if I were in this movie I’d want my name wiped off it.

The plot: A newly divorced couple that may still be in love with each other bicker as they hunt for treasure, seeking to get the gold before a local rapper/gangster does and kills them.

The premise sounds great for a mindless romantic action comedy. Indeed there are some decent set pieces, but strung together the entire movie sinks. If I had not read the synopsis on the back of the DVD case I wouldn’t of had a clue what was going on in the first section of the movie. Why? Muddled and horrible dialog mixed with poor acting: the actors all mumble! This is meant to be a comedy and the punch -lines and one-liner moments all fall to lame and obvious meaning: the funny of lacking.

Who do I blame for this movie being a stinker? Everyone involved from the start to the finish: bad acting, directing, writing: the whole nine. Logic doesn’t need to work in the world of movies, but sometimes things just get so stupid you cannot help but want to bust your televisions screen from annoyance. Fool’s Gold is FILLED TO THE BRIM with logical errors, pandering to the assumption that most of its viewers are morons. In the beginning sequences of the flick a boat catches fire, burns, and explodes! It sinks to the bottom of the ocean, where it is magically still intact and McConaughey swims into it to retrieve a picture. Wow, that must have been one hell of a camera for it to have survived the explosion! Next thing I will point out is when McConaughey is tossed to the bottom of the ocean with an anchor toed around his legs. The director makes sure to show you they have driven him out into the middle of nowhere, no land as far as the eye can see. M.C. drops into the watery grave, all the way to the ocean floor; yep, hits bottom. Then he shoots the chain off of his legs and swims back to the surface. How deep is this ocean? Look at that, it went and made me swear.

Fool’s Gold lacks any gold, just fools.

Stupid.

The Spiderwick Chronicles is a Mark Waters directed movie based off of a book series and marketed towards a younger audience. However, some of the CGI creatures involved in the peril of the film may be too scary for your youngster. Then again, it could be a great way to break them into loving horror cinema, if they can handle a screaming orge there is no reason why Freddy Krueger should spook them!

The story follows a family as they move into a new home, with the kid count being at three two win brothers and an older sister. One of the brothers finds a book along with a brownie within the walls of the home, and the book ends up being the source of their troubles and adventure. It is a field guide to the world unknown to most, the magical world of fairies and goblins that are invisible unless you know how to look for them. An evil orge wants to get his hands on this book and thanks to the meddling of the kids he gets his chance once again. Can he be stopped?

The cast includes Freddie Highmore playing both of the boys and Mary Louise Parker takes on the role of their mother and Sarah Bolger is the sister. Other celebrities bring their voice talents to magical creatures, talents such as: Seth Rogan, Martin Short, and Nick Nolte. David Strathairn is another recognizable actor within the flick, playing the role of the Spiderwick who created the book to begin with.

If I were to compare this to other popular fantasy movies such as the Harry Potter movies I would have to give Spiderwick credit for not being as boring. In fact it is the darker, scary elements and intense action moments that kept my attention. Whereas Harry Potter, even during action tends to be stuffy and slow. As is usual for fantasy movie adaptations of books however, lots of information is lost and logical errors and plotholes pop up every few minutes.

The ending for Spiderwick ends up being relatively humorous, before it turns into sappy creepiness. (ask me about that if you’ve seen it and are confused) Overall it is an okay run-of-the-mill movie. In other words: years from now I will vividly recall the work Pan’s Labyrinth and not recall a thing about The Spiderwick Chronicles. If you enjoy fantasy movies though, geared towards kids in story though not fully in execution: worthy rental.

When 10,000 BC hit theaters it was trashed by outraged historians and critics alike over its complete misrepresentation of real history; places, people, and creatures. Hey, people! It’s a movie!

10,000 BC was directed by acclaimed director Roland Emmerich who has directed such hits as: The Day After Tomorrow, The Patriot, Independence Day, Stargate, and my favorite: Universal Soldier. The movie stars mainly unknowns as far as Hollywood stars go, though I did recognize Cliff Curtis in a supporting role; which made things silly seeing him in dreads and acting all cave man-ish. I would give the lead actor a shout out, but call me the lazy reviewer not wanting to look him up or even what his character’s name was; they all had non-memorable names.

The plot: a tribe finds they are having a hard time keeping food in stock every year and an old lady in the tribe says that one of their young men will grow up to save them and fall in love with the blue-eyed girl they found in the mountains. Well, the girl is kidnapped and the young man who loves her goes on the quest to track her down and save his people.

The action moments involving CGI and big animals such as killer birds, a saber toothed tiger, and mammoths are the best parts and yet equally silly at times. If they could have kept more of this action in the movie it would have been a bit better really; weird to hear me calling for more CGI. The saber toothed tiger needed more screen time for sure. Another odd thing is the narrator throughout the story did not bother me either. In fact, overall I would say forget the stupid historians and critics, this is a mindless flick and easy watching for the most part.

Now let me pick on it a bit. The logical errors are many, one example: the lead guy climbs a wall and drops into the prison of some captives to tell them they will be rescued. When guards start coming near them he bounds back over the wall. The prisoners are not in shackles, why couldn’t they have just bounded over the wall the entire time? Another issue I had with the flick is that these tribesmen fight giant mammoths and other bizarre animals, yet when the bad guys come riding in on horses they call them four legged demons and are scared of them. How the hell is a horse more scary than a giant elephant creature? Why couldn’t they figure out what a horse was? The hit and miss instances of gullibility of the people populating this fictional world of historical inaccuracies gets annoying and seems like the writer’s were mis-matched and lazy in plotting. Another annoying thing to the story was all of the cutting back to the Old Woman in the tribe as the adventurers go through trials, she sits at home and moans a bunch and every time there is action we go back and watch her moan.

If you want a mindless rental, with some interesting action moments, this is an okay movie overall; a movie!

The Other Boleyn Girl was not the bodice ripping, lustful romance novel come to life style story that I was led to believe it was by some angled marketing. I expected to be quite the boring excuse to see Natalie Portman and Scarlett Johansson getting it on with Eric Bana. However, what it is in all actuality is a dark tale with a fiendish twist and enough muddled real history to anger scholars who care.

Final word: good.

Musicals always make me yawn and Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber Of Fleet Street did not change that. However, that statement doesn’t sum up this review or the quality of the movie.

Sweeney Todd was directed by Mr. Tim Burton and stars Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter, Alan Rickman, Timothy Spall, and Sacha Baron Cohen; to name but a few. The story follows Benjamin Barker, now known as Sweeney Todd, coming back to London after having spent years in prison thanks to a judge that wanted to steal his wife. He returns for revenge.

As a theatre experience I found the movie to drag just a bit, thanks to the singing. Some of the lyrics were good and it had its moments, but overall: I’m still not a fan of musicals. Johnny Depp’s voice would work for a rock band and in the moments when he picks up his tone and belts out or yells it is chillingly great. Helena Bonham Carter cannot sing, though I guess for the overall Burton look it was smarter for the director to cast his wife as opposed to say Queen Latifah. The rest of the cast: nothing stood out spectacular to me aside from a young boy with a grand voice and Sacha Baron Cohen fans will cheer for his silly moments.

The acting between the singing is okay, none of the performances are stand out in terms of attention getting, except for when Johnny Depp really gets into the madness. His gloomy disposition through most of the film doesn’t help quicken the liveliness of the entertainment.

Tim Burton has made another gothic masterpiece in visual terms. The first portion of the film was way too dark, but as it proceeds there are some very cool shots. However, once again toss in music and this reviewer yawns. (don’t worry I never fell asleep, and by the end I was wide awake; read on.)

The blood flows in this film for sure. Once Todd gets into throat cutting the red fluids spray out, the victims gargle into their deaths, and the corpses pile up and then get butchered. The climatic series of events for the ending really picks up with even more blood and gore and horror fans do get my full recommendation to check this movie out.

The story leaves the main revenge aspect and the villain a bit too underdeveloped for my liking, with the music not conveying as much passion and emotion as one would think singing should when compared to spoken dialog. However, the last 10-15-20 minutes of the movie perked me back up and it got really, really good. If you are not familiar with the story of Sweeney Todd then I say rush out and see this in the theatre because certain aspects of it will be new to you. However if you are a little too familiar with the subject matter, as I was, then really you won’t be missing out by waiting for DVD. Naturally though I suspect the legions of Johnny Depp fans aren’t going to want to pass up another chance to see him larger than life on the big screen.

Sweeney Todd ends up getting a thumbs up from me thanks to some great moments of dark humor, Johnny Depp bringing some dark bitterness and cursing at just the right musical moments, the spraying blood, and most of all the demented spiral into madness that is the shocking ending.

Boy Eats Girl is where teen romantic comedy meets horror, but do they make a lovely pair?

Directed by Stephen Bradley, Boy Eats Girl was written by Derek Landy. The film is an Irish tale about a young man in love with a girl, however the same night he is going to tell her he wants to be more than friends, he accidentally hangs himself. The boy’s mother brings him back to life with a voodoo ritual and he finds he craves human flesh.  Soon a chain reaction of people getting bitten by zombies occurs and most of the school is turned into flesh craving creatures after a school dance. The boy who started the entire infection must team up with his still living friends, including the girl he loves to save them all.

The cast in this film is good, with my favorite character being the two male friends of the lead character. One may recognize singer Samantha Mumba as the lead’s romantic interest.

Overall this film relies heavy on teen music and setting the mood to appeal to that sort of audience. I found it to be a solid and decent film, but my mind kept wandering away. I think what it was lacking was any sort of over the top creative push of action. There is a gory finale, but I would have liked to see some deeper new twist to zombies or perhaps they could have put in some more tragic romantic scenes. The film treats teen romance with a heavy dosage of pop-punk-emo style music and captures that well enough, but “teen romance” is generally puppy love and I would have liked to have seen some genuine emotion portrayed.

I did not find it overly funny, though there were a few chuckles to be had. I think the filmmakers would like the audience to be laughing hard: not going to happen.

Boy Eats Girl is a decent Irish film and I think most people should like it. I’ll forget it in a few days, but it is indeed some harmless, mindless fun for a bit.

La Sierra is a documentary written and directed by Scott Dalton and Margarita Martinez. It brings to life a gritty and true portrait of the way life is for many in the ghettos of Medillin, Columbia. Specifically it follows the young leader of a paramilitary group, a young widow, and a young soldier in the paramilitary group. In this review I will share a brief glimpse into each characters role and the overall conclusion of events.

Edison is the leader of a paramilitary group that is not only at war with a guerilla group, but also law enforcement. Edison is self-proclaimed criminal and womanizer, but justifies it with statements regarding tradition and that the other factions against him are criminals as well. He is given a lot of screen time to wonder off into long narratives, almost bragging and playfully touching base on how much sex he gets as a commander. He is merely 22 years old, is always armed, and tends to shoot first and ask questions later; this includes the natural gun in his pants which  has shot sperm into six separate women impregnating them.

Cielo is a 17 year old woman who was first married at the age of 15. The film follows her as she tells about the murder of her first husband, and it explores the relationship between herself and her currently incarcerated boyfriend. She seems to want more of a life for her child and yet at the same time it seems that the only chances for romance in the environment are all with gang members.

Jesus is a soldier who works under Edison and also speaks about his lifestyle, not as flamboyantly, but with a matter of fact, this is everyday life sort of tone. He rambles on in lazy, often times drugged sounding monotone telling stores, for example about how he lost his hand making a bomb.

The viewer is put into an environment where bullets fly every day and cocaine is snorted and killed over. The opening sequence of the film is harsh and sickening, yet from there the pace is very slow and actually dull. The movie overall becomes a bit of a bore, seemingly giving these criminals a forum with which to talk about their lifestyle in a way to justify their actions. One must decide whether or not these kids really have an sort of choice in the way they act, and from the examples of many others shown in the community it would seem they do have a choice, but choose to pick up guns instead.

La Sierra is a documentary with long spells of lazy voiced teens telling you how it is and I personally think many sections are worth fast forwarding through. However, once the fate of one of the main characters is fully realized it is indeed a haunting experience.

La Sierra has been called “City of God only real,” and it certainly ends up being depressing. It is not so action packed and entertaining, but if you are a fan of slow documentaries and are a great remote operator with the fast forward button, it is worth checking out. Well, I mean that in the sense of if you wish to watch something ultimately depressing or have a curiosity in death.