Hateship Loveship (2014)

A film whose ultimate message is that, if you are a woman, you can win a man’s heart by doing all the cooking and cleaning, while also letting him steal your money, Hateship Loveship is … basically just that. It has no energy, questionable morals, no compelling characters or performances — but boy, does Kristen […]

Joe (2014)

I know that one of the most fun both cinephiles and non-cinephiles can have is to make fun of some of the performances turned in by Nicolas Cage, but every now and then a movie like Joe comes around and we’re treated to a fantastic performance by the actor. There’s no zaniness and no insanity […]

Only Lovers Left Alive (2014)

There’s a measure of doom and gloom to almost every single element of Only Lovers Left Alive, and it’s perhaps because of this that it’s hard to truly fall in love with what it has to offer. There’s certainly something, and I don’t think it’s the plodding pace or the romanticism with which it presents […]

The Raid 2 (2014)

With the debut of The Raid: Redemption in 2011, we knew that there had to be a sequel, either spiritually or in reality. The action scenes, some of which were called “best action I’ve ever seen” by some people, needed to be duplicated or even topped. Its director, Gareth Evans, needed to show us more […]

Perfect Sisters (2014)

There are two kinds of people who will watch Perfect Sisters: There are the types who will think that all of the broken-house scenes that populate the first half of the film are over-the-top and excessive, and there are those who will know that this can be exactly how it can be in similar situations. […]

Draft Day (2014)

When you’re watching a movie about any sort of sports draft, you can almost certainly be assured that something or other is going to come right down to the buzzer, and that’s going to be our primary source of drama and tension. I imagine a trade deadline movie would be the same way. In order […]

The Trials of Cate McCall (2014)

After becoming an alcoholic, being put on probation at her law firm, divorcing her husband, and losing custody of her child, Cate McCall (Kate Beckinsale) is attempting to get her life back on the right track. In order to do so, she accepts a pro bono case — one which she believes she will lose. […]

Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014)

The first Captain America film, The First Avenger, was one of the best films of the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU), and holds up as such upon repeated viewings. The sequel is not as good. Yes, it is still fun, and there’s more to it, intellectually, than any of the previous eight movies, but it’s less […]

Nymph()maniac: Volume II (2014)

After the first volume of Nymph()maniac, I remarked that I was excited to see the second, as well as the extended cut that lasted for somewhere around five hours. The reason for this was that the first part was funnier and more compelling than I thought it was going to be. It wound up being […]

Dom Hemingway (2014)

Dom Hemingway is very much a nothing film. It has a very mediocre plot, a main character too (purposefully) superficial to allow for the few sentimental moments to have any impact, a lack of focus, and a lackluster resolution. It’s not altogether dull or unenjoyable, but like the proverbial fast food burger, you’ll forget about […]

Speed Racer (2008)

Clocking in at an unacceptable two hours and fifteen minutes in length, Speed Racer tells an incredibly simple story about a boy and his race car and the quest to conquer the evil corporations ruining his favorite sport. You’ve seen this basic story before — probably more in cartoons and television shows (which is where […]

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader (2010)

A film like The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader is a testament to how running time and pacing are entirely different things. The first two chapters in the Narnia series each ran over 140 minutes long but never began to drag. You watched them and never even thought about looking at […]

The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian (2008)

If a sequel’s sole mission is to fix the main problems with its predecessor, then The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian is the perfect sequel. The two main problems with the first Narnia movie were the slightly lackluster villain and a general feeling that the filmmakers couldn’t take any risks for fear of becoming too […]

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe (2005)

Essentially little more than a children’s fantasy film, The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe — what a title! — is the first adaptation of C.S. Lewis’ seven-story book series. How faithful an adaptation is it? I don’t know. I’ve never read the books. But I know that as a movie […]

Breathe In (2014)

How many films have you watched in which an unhappy married man falls for a younger woman? Far too many to count, I would wager, and even if you haven’t seen too many you can probably figure out exactly how this type of story plays out — most of the time, at least. Breathe In […]

Faster (2010)

Containing many characters without real names and a plot as deep as “a dude shoots other dudes,” Faster isn’t a high-octane thriller or an insane action movie. Instead, it’s a movie about a single man’s quest for vengeance, and possibly about how that quest would affect him — although it’s not good enough to really […]

The Last Stand (2013)

I’m not really sure if anyone asked for this. After a decade since taking a leading role in a feature film — he was kind of the Governor of California, you know — Arnold Schwarzenegger is back and in a silly and dumb action film. This time, he’s the sheriff of a small town in […]

The Adjustment Bureau (2011)

In case you’ve forgotten, love must at least attempt to conquer all, even if it isn’t necessarily successful. I only say that because I don’t want to ruin how The Adjustment Bureau ends, although astute readers will recognize that it’s a Hollywood film and probably have a pretty good idea. It doesn’t matter. This is […]