Author: Mark Plaid

Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982)

Horror Writer and Director: Tommy Lee Wallace Harry Grimbridge (Al Berry) comes under the care of Dr. Daniel “Dan” Challis (Tom Atkins) when he shows up at his hospital clutching a “Silver Shamrock Novelty Company” Halloween mask while hysterically screaming, “They’ll kill us!”  Later that night, after sedating him, a man in a business suit enters Harry’s room and kills him with his bare hands.  After this he returns to his car in the hospital’s parking lot, douses himself with gasoline, and sets himself on fire.  Distraught by the occurrence, Dr. Challis files a police report and goes to a nearby bar to unwind.  While there, Ellie Grimbridge (Stacey Nelkin), Harry’s young and attractive daughter, approaches Dr. Challis and talks him into helping her investigate the reason for her father’s death.  The duo travels to Santa Mira, California, the location of the Silver Shamrock Novelty Company, and pose as representatives of her fathers business looking for a missing shipment. Silver Shamrock Novelty Company sells a line of very popular Halloween masks made famous by a series of television commercials that appear with a very catchy jingle that counts down to Halloween.  The commercials also promise a “big give away” to anyone who watches the end of a presentation of the John Carpenter film Halloween while wearing their Silver Shamrock Halloween masks.  During their investigation, things get very strange for...

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Bela Lugosi Meets a Brooklyn Gorilla (1952)

Night club performers, Duke Mitchell (himself) and Sammy Petrillo (himself), intend to fly to Guam, but their plane crash lands on the island of Kola Kola.  The natives are friendly and they meet Nona (Charlita), Cheif Rakos’ (Al Kikume) daughter who is white for some reason and Duke develops a thing for her. However, they meet Dr. Zabor (Bela Lugosi), who also has a thing for Nona and doesn’t like having competition for her heart.  So instead of winning Nona over by outdoing Duke and charming her himself, Zabor uses the experiments on apes he’s being doing on the island to turn Duke into a gorilla. Bela Lugosi Meets a Brooklyn Gorilla stands as one of the most unwatchable films that I can’t stop watching.  Duke and Sammy’s roles in this film blatantly rip off Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis and do it rather horribly, but, yet, I laugh at them because of how ridiculous and horrible it is rather than any cleverness on the part of the actors.  Bela Lugosi saw better years by the time he played his role as Dr. Zabor, but he still knows how to deliver the lines.  His passion for acting shows even in what is probably his most ridiculous role.  Ed Wood is sometimes blamed for stealing Lugosi’s dignity for the roles he cast the man in, but those critics have never...

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Idiocracy (2005)

Director and Writer: Mike Judge Starring Luke Wilson, Maya Rudolf, and Michael McCafferty For a hibernation project the military chooses Joe Bauers (Luke Wilson), a U.S. Army Librarian, as the male subject.  The experimenters choose him for his across the board averageness and lack of immediate family or anyone who might miss him.  Joe’s female counterpart could not be found in the military so they paid off a pimp, from the private sector, named Upgrayedd (Brad “Scarface” Jordan) to provide them with a prostitute, named Rita (Maya Rudolph), who could meet the conditions they needed.  In 2005, the two become sealed in hibernation chambers that are scheduled for opening in a year.  However, the director of the experiment, Colonel Collins (Michael McCafferty) became obsessed with the pimp lifestyle when acquiring permission to use Rita.  He began a prostitution ring that got busted and the project was forgotten. In the Great Garbage Avalanche of 2505, the hibernation pods open and Joe and Rita emerge from them alive.  Due to the breeding patterns of humans whereby the lack of predators for humans causes the exponential increase of stupid people because of their predilection for impregnating each other surpasses the reproductive habits of smart people.  Joe finds himself in a world that doesn’t know how to properly dispose of garbage or grow their crops.  Joe is proscecuted because his speaking manner lacks...

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Son of Rambow (2007)

Comedy, England Director and Writer: Garth Jennings Starring: Bill Milner, Will Poulter In 1982, Will Proudfoot (Bill Milner) suffers from being in a family that follows the Amish-Lite-like Plymouth Brethren religion but for some reason goes to public school in Britain.  One day as he waits out in the hall, because his cult prevents him from watching TV, he runs into the worst behaved boy in school, Lee Carter (Will Poulter). Expectedly, Lee bullies him and when he tries to grab the book wherein Will draws his fantasies. They knock over a huge goldfish bowl.  While waiting for the school disciplinarian to see them, Lee tells Will he’ll take the rap for the whole thing if he can have the watch he’s wearing, which was Will’s dead father’s.  At first Will refuses but when Lee explains that the punishment is physical torture, the meek boy gives up the watch and takes off.  So does Lee. Later, Will sees Lee in the schoolyard and Lee goes into his tortured routine that gains the sympathy of Will who helps him home.  While at Lee’s place, a nursing home where his older brother barely takes care of him in lieu of his mother who galavants around Spain with the home’s owner.  Actually Lee’s brother treats him like a servant and Lee has Will hide when his brother and his goony pals show...

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Pink Flamingos (1972)

Comedy, Cult Classic Director: John Waters Starring: Divine, Edith Massey, Mink Stole, Mary Vivian Pearce Divine (Divine) goes underground in a rinky-dink trailer in suburban Baltimore and assumes the name Babs Johnson.  A tabloid publishes headlines announcing Divine as the “Filthiest Person Alive.”  The Marbles, Raymond (David Lochary) and Connie (Mink Stole) take issue with that statement and seek Divine out.  As runners of a a black market baby selling ring, exhibitionists, and all around sexual degenerates, they feel entitled to the label “Filthiest People Alive,” and take measures to prove it.  When the Marbles get a lead on Divine through their spy Cookie (Cookie Meuller) who dates Divine’s perverted son Crackers (Danny Mills) and meets Divine’s playpen-ridden, mentally challenged, and egg obsessed mother Edie (Edith Massey), and their voyeur friend Cotton (Mary Vivian Pearce) they begin to realize that Divine has more in her bag of tricks than they thought. Pink Flamingos stands as the epitome of writer/director John Waters’ films, nothing does it like this.  It is the king of the shockers and it takes no prisoners.  Just because the film saw its release in 1972 don’t think it mellowed with age, not quite.  Perhaps films since have come up with more shocking scenes than a man actually killing a live chicken during a sex act, a mother blowing her own son (the mother being played by...

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