Director: Tim Burton
Starring: Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter, Alan Rickman

The Premise: Unlawfully sent to prison so the Judge (Rickman) can get his hands on his wife, Sweeney Todd (Depp) returns to discover his wife is dead and the Judge is keeping his daughter captive. He seeks revenge in the most delightfully blood-thirsty way, aided by the bonkers Mrs Lovett (Carter).

The Good: It’s long-since been established that Depp can play just about any character brilliantly. This film is no exception. He sings and slices his way through a dazzlingly dark performance, giving Sweeney a personality that’s both sinister and charismatic. But he’s upstaged every step of the way by Helena Bonham Carter’s portrayal of Mrs Lovett. She’s only supposed to be his sidekick—his enabler, if you will—but she steals the spotlight whenever she’s on screen. It would be an injustice to say she’s comic relief, but my god will she make you laugh. She makes you feel as if chopping up dead bodies and serving them in pies is the most hilarious thing in the world. As if to sugar-coat an already scrumptious main cast, there are some delightful supporting characters. Keep an eye out for Anthony Stewart Head’s cameo, and Sacha Baron Cohen’s performance is pure genius (naturally).

The Bad: The love story involving Depp’s daughter feels a bit rushed and forced—it could have done with a bit more non-singing screen time—and there are a few moments that are heavy on the cheese (try not to cringe when Sweeney sings his heart out about getting his blades back in his possession—it’s not the best number in the film).

Overall Verdict: Laden with Burton’s trademark gothic cinematography and bursting with talent from its illustrious cast, this film aims high and succeeds. Not to be missed!

Director: Roland Joffè
Starring: Elisha Cuthbert

The Premise: This new offering from the Torture Porn genre is about a lonely Top Model who is drugged, kidnapped, and forced to endure her worst fears.

The Good: Joffè does a good job of creating tension and suspense. He gives a grainy, low-budget feel to the action that serves to build up the fear in both the viewer and the victim, Jennifer (Cuthbert). Sadly, that’s the only praise this appalling film deserves.

The Bad: Where’s the plot? No, seriously, where is it? Do the killers have a motive other than pure desire for the kill? It’s never really explained. The random, out-of-place flashback to the killers’ childhood does little more than add an extra layer of twisted evil to the story. It serves no purpose. And for a Torture Porn film, there’s surprisingly little torture endured by the victim. The killers are playing a game—that much is established—but there’s no explanation. There’s not much of anything, to be honest. The victim seems to spend more time sleeping than she does being scared. You spend the entire ninety minutes waiting for something truly horrific to happen—as you would expect from a film in this genre—and then come away angry that you’ll never get that time back.

Overall Verdict: Considering Joffè was once Oscar-worthy, this is a very poor offering indeed. If you like Torture Porn, re-watch the Saw franchise. Don’t waste your time on this.