About: Oscar Gutierrez (GeorgeMichael)

Hi I'm Oscar... and well, i don't think I've ever eaten a fish. (I love finding nemo.) I've seen several movies ranging from the Wizard of Oz, Psycho, and Vertigo, to movies like Transformers, Spider man 3, and Pirates of the Caribbean. I enjoy movies of all sorts and from all genres, it is a personal hobby of mine to try to watch as many movies as i can so i can talk about them and express my feelings.


My Website
http://averagecrapmovies.blogspot.com


Movie Reviews By GeorgeMichael:


Bolt

Posted on 05 December 2008 by Oscar Gutierrez

Pixar better start looking over their shoulders because there’s a new company… … well… an old company is coming back to regain it’s throne in animation… Actually no, Pixar has nothing to worry about, but Disney can however hold it’s head up in pride that they have finally brought themselves up from the pit of despair and death that they were quickly digging up for themselves.

Bolt is the story of a young little puppy that was adopted by a girl voiced by Miley Cyrus (Bolt himself is voiced by John Travolta), who turns out to be the star of a hit TV show called BOLT. In this show Bolt has been genetically engineered to protect Penny (Cyrus) at all costs. He has heat vision, incredible speed, and even a super bark. Each episode Penny and Bolt are running from danger from “The Green Eyed Man” and his cat, while they have Penny’s father imprisoned and attempt to get Penny as well and they end up defeating everyone in their path and going away happily ever after and safe…… despite the fact that the father is always under capture by The Green Eyed Man… and his cat. At the end of each episode Bolt is quickly taken to his trailer where he remains until the next episode begins shooting because to Bolt the entire setup and premise of the show is completely real. He truly believes that he is a super dog and the Penny is in constant danger, and as a result all of the other animals on the set make fun of him for it, thought he doesn’t know what they’re playing at.

One day, at the pressuring of those god damned TV Executives, the episode needs to get less happy and it ends in a cliffhanger with Penny captured and Bolt unable to save her. After the episode is finished Penny desperately tries to return to Bolt to ensure him of her safety but no one will allow it until he saves her in the next episode, which he never makes it to. Bolt becomes so furious that he lost Penny that he breaks out of his trailer and is set forth, eventually being knocked out and shipped from Hollywood to good old New York City, where, upon discovering that his powers have suddenly stopped working, he takes a cat hostage under the urging of some cat-handled pigeons who mean business. He tells the cat (Mittens voiced by Susie Essman) that she must take him to the Green Eyed Man (because he has a cat… so all cats work for him… Bolt has a strange mind… but it’s an interesting ride none the less.) who has Penny hostage so that he can save her. Mittens does not agree but is tied to Bolt’s leash so is forced to go along on the ride, especially after he threatens to drop her off of a bridge, and realizes that Bolt is a dog from Hollywood, and not only that, but that he is the star of an action TV show and he doesn’t even know it.

Basically that’s the movie, with Bolt, Mittens, and eventually a hamster… or gerbil… … named Rhino (voiced by Mark Walton) go off on a journey to find and rescue Penny. If it’s not obvious from the beginning that The three will become friends and everything will work out perfectly in the end then you obviously missed the logo at the beginning of the movie, but it’s perfectly acceptable as a whole product. Travolta gives a great performance as Bolt who, while he may have a plot line so close to Buzz Lightyear that you could almost feel the detached limb coming for a while, is an endearing little character who won’t truly annoy parents and who you won’t mind watching for an hour and a half. Susie Essman and Mark Walton also give great performances, and even Cyrus who, probably because I’m not a thirteen year old girl who’s now into the Jonas Brothers, I’m not so crazy about turns in a fine performance as a young girl concerned for the whereabouts of her poor puppy.

Overall the movie is above average, excellent when compared to recent Disney movies… what was the last great disney movie that has come out? Chicken Little was a train wreck heading for a nuclear power plant that was built over an ancient Indian burial site from the beginning, even though it was a first attempt. Meet The Robinsons was acceptable, but nothing exceptional. Bolt truly is one of Disney’s finest movies of the last couple of years, unless I’m forgetting something major here (and please don’t count Pixar movies as Disney). The animation is great, almost on par with Pixar, (Disney still is a rookie in that area after all, hopefully they won’t get too used to it seeing as how I still miss my 2-D animated movies where they will always reign majestically) and the voice acting doesn’t seem too obnoxious, or star focused (*cough* dreamworks /*cough*). The plot line may seem a bit cliché but it is fast paced and you never really find yourself getting bored. Bolt is a sweet story that will have you laughing and smiling throughout the movie, and maybe have you feeling a little pull at the heart strings during the last act of the movie… maybe.  All in all I give Bolt a well deserved 4/5. Disney may be on it’s way back.

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Quarantine

Posted on 18 November 2008 by Oscar Gutierrez

Hollywood has decided to give American audiences the pleasure of remaking yet another foreign horror movie for our sometimes oblivious and willing eyes. Quarantine is a remake of the Spanish film Rec (Gasp, it’s not from Japan!) which came out just September of last year. Hollywood didn’t even let Rec find an audience before they decided to remake it. Also, this isn’t a traditional remake in the sense of adapting the story and making your film. No, Quarantine is a near shot for shot imitator a la Gus Van Sant’s Psycho, with a few things thrown in. However, keep in mind that all of this information was discovered after watching the movie, so I suppose I fall into the oblivious and willing eyes that make up my prior insult. Aren’t I smart?
Quarantine is directed by John Erick Dowdle, a man I previously knew for…nothing, and stars Jennifer Carpenter (of TV’s Dexter) and Steve Harris. The movie opens up with Carpenter’s Angela Vidal standing in front of a fire station, ready for a night watch report where she’ll observe the firemen and possible go out on a call before the night’s though. Here we meet the two firemen that she shadows played by Jay Hernandez and Johnathon Schaech. It is important to note here that while watching these first fifteen minutes I was severely bored. The movie literally doesn’t find it’s pace at the beginning fire department scenes and all the characters come off as a little annoying.
Of course eventually the call comes in and Angela is off with her two firemen and camera man to investigate what could seemingly be nothing more than an old lady who’s fallen and can’t get up. They enter the building and find several people in the lobby, scared out of their minds. Apparently a woman had made a very scary scream from the third floor and everyone gathered downstairs. After this you can pretty much assume that the woman turns out to be less than normal and the movie finally takes off.
Now I’m not going to bite into anyone’s acting too much because this is a movie that doesn’t entirely rely on it’s actors for it’s quality. Sure Carpenter could have done more with her character and she spends most of her screen time sprawled up in the corner either in stunned silence or in a panicked screaming fury, but you don’t really expect Oscar worthy monologues from these characters. So for this movie I’ll leave acting at rest, and say that there’s not much going on here in terms of acting, but not much is needed or expected.
No, the only thing I cared about going into this movie was how scared I was going to get. I f I got a great story line or the next Exorcist then it would have been a bonus, but keep in mind my expectations weren’t that high. I went in expecting several jump scares and plenty of gore, and while I got several jump scares I was pleasantly surprised to find the gore to be at a minimum. Every once in a while you’d see a cracked bone walking or some flesh, but nothing of Saw caliber and I respected that decision.
Overall the movie wasn’t bad at all. It had enough scares to keep me interested (after the first painstaking fifteen minutes that is), some parts were predictable and at other times the characters did the same idiotic things that people tend to do in horror movies so that was irritating. But still I enjoyed it, I sat through it, ate my popcorn, jumped at some scenes, and looking back I still thoroughly enjoy one scene in particular involving a camera death. The acting was annoying but not important, and if I have to give another gripe over the movie I would say that the trailer gives away the entire ending so the last ten minutes can get a little anti climatic. 3/5, and I recommend this to anyone who might want a quick scare, but try to catch it at a matinee viewing, as it’s not full deserving of the eight dollars that theaters charge now a days.

P.S. and you can watch the entire movie REC on you tube, it comes with English subtitles and I highly recommend it, I found it much better than Quarantine, and it actually gave me good acting, which exceeded my expectations and made it all the better.

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Quantum of Solace

Posted on 17 November 2008 by Oscar Gutierrez

    James Bond has returned! Wait, no, I’m sorry that’s not Bond. It seems that director Marc Forster believes the best direction to take the Bond series is down the Jason Bourne route, (I know you all are probably tired of all the Bourne Bond comparisons, but they’re there for a reason so you’ll have to suffer through another one), which I don’t think is the best way for the series to go, and I know I’m not alone here.

Quantum of Solace is the sequel to the incredible franchise reboot Casino Royale (Which I liked better than superhero reboot Batman Begins), which I see as one of the best in the series, and brings back Daniel Craig as the suave, clean cut, drinking spy we all know and love… Wait, go back, what I meant to say was brings back Daniel Craig as the sometimes suave, beaten, drinking action star that emerged in the last film. QoS also brings forth a new bond girl in the form of Olga Kurylenko, and favorite returning character M played by Judi Dench.

The movie starts off almost immediately where Royale left off with Bond racing down a mountainside with a criminal in his trunk ready to be interrogated. This starts off the first action sequence as cars go flying off cliffs and running into very large trucks. When he finally sits down alongside M to interrogate Mr. White, as he is known, he finds out that White is a part of a secret organization and finds it incredible that MI6 knows nothing about them. He laughs telling them that they have people EVERYWHERE, at which point a traitor emerges and sets Mr. White free to run away which starts off another chase scene.

The whole movie is pretty much one big long chase with Bond going after… something. In the beginning he is looking for Vesper’s (The bond girl from Royale who drowned, after betraying Bond) boyfriend to get some answers, but he gets sidetracked to a plot concerning a girl called Camille (Kurylenko) trying to kill him, and then a man called Dominic Greene (Mathieu Almaric) trying to kill her by sending her onto a boat where there is a General who killed Camille’s family, who she is now intending to avenge. Now that’s a long way to say that pretty much everyone wants to kill everyone, but wait, there’s more. It turns out that Dominic Greene has a secret plan to possibly control oil in South America, and he’s even getting help from those damn American CIA agents.

You can tell from that small plot summary that this movie is going to have it’s themes spread throughout revenge and trust, and while that’s true it’s not exactly a point Forster focuses on too much. Sure you get Bond sulking for a couple of scenes, and trying to do anything to get what he wants, but it never truly feels real. This is not a movie trying to explain what revenge does to the human soul, or how trust can sometimes be manipulated. No, this is a movie about visually active action scenes put down on a mat with a thin plot wire holding them together. It is seen as a thin wire because by the end of the movie you don’t really care about Greene’s evil plan (which is much smaller in scale than what is first assumed). The whole movie you’re just waiting for the next action scene to start. There are a couple of sentimental moments, and even a few true Bond moments spread throughout the scene, but overall this is just your standard Hollywood explosion film with a just an extra small hint of  style and dignity.
Now there are some things that Quantum of Solace gets right, one of which is Daniel Craig. Craig is by far one of the best Bonds (beaten only by Connery) and this performance is great, even though he doesn’t have much to work with. When he’s given the chance he shines, and that’s all we can ask for from him.  The movie is also fast paced for the most part so you never really feel bored, but honestly there just feels like there’s too much missing from this film. To start off they bring in way too many characters. At the end you don’t care about any of the new ones introduced, or the ones brought back. They bring in so many characters that the new “Bond Girl” only gets around fifteen to twenty minutes of screen time. (That is of course a guess, but I can tell you that she wasn’t there long.) My biggest gripe though, is of course what I mentioned in the beginning. People need to realize that this is not an action film, Bond is a spy. He kills when he has too, but he does not enjoy doing it. Violence is an itch that James Bond hates to scratch. He sneaks, he listens, he saves the girl, he has one liners for everything, and he wears suits 99% of the time. He also uses gadgets Forster! Bond has watch lasers, and cell phone grappling hooks, he started that trend, and in over two hours of watching Solace I never caught a glimpse of the slightest bit of technology being used by Bond.

Overall the movie itself isn’t bad. The acting is as good as you can accept it to be with Craig giving his all and everyone else doing the best they can with what they have, especially Judi Dench, but that’s practically a given. The direction is going to get points off from me, possibly unfairly, but the blame for this new Bond will fall on Forster and his screenwriters from me. I do not like where they are taking this new Bond and hopefully they will remedy this and bring us a third movie that’s on par with Royale. The screenwriting is just like above, but they get even more points taken off for the fact that I hardly cared for any of the new characters introduced, and for a main villain who I despised because in my mind seemed too weak and had a plan that turned out to be the equivalent of a cat trying to control all the rats in a motel. The visuals, while a little fast and hard to follow at times, are great so no demerits in that area. The movie is quick paced and generally leaves you with a satisfied feeling. Though nowhere near what it could have been, Quantum of Solace succeeds as an action movie but as a Bond film falls a little short of what I had hoped for. 3/5

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Eagle Eye

Posted on 28 September 2008 by Oscar Gutierrez

After Disturbia became a surprise hit last year, Hollywood wasted no time in reuniting director D.J. Caruso and Shia Labeouf for another sure to be hit. They had the director, and they had the main lead, all that was left was the female, the action, and the story.  To solve the first problem Michelle Monaghan was cast, an action which I applauded. The second problem was solved by deciding to turn the whole film into a chase movie with a side of government phone tapping just for kicks. Once they had their money making template set up Eagle Eye needed a story and for that they began to pick their favorite scenes from similar plotted films and just changed the characters and location.

Eagle Eye starts off with a confusing attack on a middle eastern could be terrorist that doesn’t make much sense. A flying jet, or camera on a jet, sees a man and deduces that it has a 51% of being the man that they are looking for. The soldiers watching debate as to whether or not fire upon this person and in the end the president deems the chance to big to pass up and they fire. I don’t recall this ever being important in the movie ever again.  Then we cut to Shia Labeouf’s character Jerry who works at a copy story. One day he gets a call telling him that his twin brother has just died and when he returns from the funeral he finds mountains of weapons, bombs, and equipment manuals stashed in his house. A woman calls him on his phone and tells him to run because he’s been “activated” and when he refuses the FBI reach his room and arrest him. At the same time Monaghan’s character Rachel drops her son off to go play at some form of symphony orchestra in Washington D.C. (I feel it is important to note here that this child can’t be more than eight, and this is obviously a small class of modern Beethovens) While she is drinking at a bar with some friends the same woman that called Jerry calls her and tells her that she has been “activated” and must follow her directions if she ever wants to see her son again.

This woman sets in motion a huge escape in which Jerry leaps from FBI holdings onto a train track and eventually meets up with Rachel. The two are closely followed by FBI officer Thomas Morgan (Billy Bob Thornton) and Air Force officer Zoe Perez (Rosario Dawson). Soon the voice is giving Jerry and Rachel directions and altering traffic signals, listening in on cell phones, and even controlling cranes to attack following police cars. The whole movie takes place with Jerry and Rachel running away from the FBI while the voice (who is played by Julianne Moore by the way) makes everything easy for them and most of the time kills all followers or obstacles which pretty much takes the suspense away.

The acting is acceptable. Labeouf has one cringe worthy scene but for the most part passes through the film, as does Monaghan even though they have little material to work with. Thornton actually gave the best performance but that’s not saying much. While he had some good one liners, most of other lines were attempts at humor that came off as annoying after a while. The voice also does a great job at reminding video game players of Portal, so at least that feeling could make people happier during this film. Overall the acting isn’t great, and it isn’t bad. It isn’t in acting where the movie fails.

No, it’s everywhere else. You can complain about the horrible story or the countless rip off from movies like I, Robot, 2001: A Space Odyssey, and even Live Free or Die Hard to a certain extent.  As a whole though the movie just doesn’t work in any way. The suspense is gone completely seeing how everything is perfectly set up for the characters so it doesn’t work in that department. The story is completely predictable so there’s no “Aaaaaaah” moment when characters suddenly realize something that you’ve just assumed has been true for the last half hour, and the movie is just too boring to really thrill you. You laugh at some scenes when you shouldn’t, at other times you roll your eyes at the events unfolding on screen, and at other times you grunt in anger at the fact that you feel like you really are watching something you’ve already seen before. Eagle Eye worked on nearly no level for me which is a shame since I enjoyed Disturbia and had high expectations for this one. Unfortunately the movie doesn’t deliver at all and I would have given it at least a generous 2.5 if they hadn’t copped out at the end. The movie could have at least ended great but they went cheesy and stupid and so I find nothing redeeming in this film and give it 1.5/5.

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Burn After Reading

Posted on 24 September 2008 by Oscar Gutierrez

Burn After Reading

 

The Coen Brothers have returned this year with their follow up to No Country for Old Men and it is certainly an interesting addition to their library. The movie stars Frances McDormand, Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Tilda Swinton, John Malkovich, and Richard Jenkins. Right off the back  you can tell that this is a star studded cast and when you add these names with the Coen brothers nothing could possible go wrong, right?

                Well, as it turns out it really is hard to mess up a movie when you have such talented people working on it. The story starts off when John Malkovich’s character Osborne gets fired from his job at the CIA. He then goes to his wife Katie (Swinton) and tries to tell her that he quit, but soon they are interrupted by party guests arriving among whom are Harry (Clooney) and his wife neither of which Malkovich seems fond of. When the party ends Osborne tells his wife of his predicament and states that he is going to write his memoirs his wife loses it. She goes the next day to talk to a divorce lawyer and he suggests she make a copy of all financial information on a disk and this disk manages to find it’s way to a gym where Linda (McDormand) and Chad (Pitt) work.  Chad finds the disk and sees it as highly classified “shit” and Linda sees it as an opportunity to get the money she needs for her plastic surgeries.  Ted (Jenkins) on the other hand doesn’t want any involvement with the CD and also thinks Linda is crazy for wanting to change her body.

                That’s only the beginning of the story and it all gets much more complicated from there with Linda going on dates with men she met online and Harry cheating on his wife with Osborne’s wife. The entire movie seems like a bunch of seemingly random scenes thrown together while trying to tell a cohesive story.  Then the Coen Brothers start throwing in their magic touch. The Coen’s infuse their severely dark humor, which they are recognized for, into the mix and the movie does find its balance.  There are jokes spread throughout the film that had me laughing occasionally and at some points hysterically. Still I felt that there could have been more, laugh wise.

                The performances are incredible, as to be expected from this cast, with Brad Pitt giving the best show. McDormand truly pulls off the sweet and lonely girl who just wants to have her plastic surgeries so she can look better, and Clooney plays his Lady’s Man as good as he has always done in the past. Malkovich also turns in a strong performance but I never really cared for his character one bit. I found him overly obnoxious and by the end I absolutely hated his character, though I think that was the intended result. On a side note I would also like to mention J.K Simmons who gives a grand performance as the CIA boss. He’s not on screen much and he doesn’t have that many lines, but every single line is a laugh out loud statement. He just did a really great job in the role that he had.

                Overall Burn After Reading was not a great film. It wasn’t bad by all means, but after No Country for Old Men it fell a little short. I also found it surprising that while No Country for Old Men made me laugh a lot more than I thought I would, BAR had me shocked more than I thought I would, unfortunately at the expense of the laughs. As a movie Burn After reading is well done, you’ll hardly ever find a Coen Brother movie that looks sloppy or rushed, but as a comedy itself BAR only has a few things to offer, and no matter how unique and excellent those  things are (Clooney’s Basement invention) you need more to save a comedy. The movie does feel too random or quirky at times but it passes from memory as soon as the next scene starts. One thing I did find very interesting is that after the first shock of the movie you as the audience are left slightly paranoid or nervous, expecting something horrible to happen around every corner (Just like one character in the film) and I thought that was really interesting how I started feeling that. The Coen brothers still remain one of the finest directors in Hollywood right now and while this is not up to their usual standards, it’s certainly better than most movies out there right now.  I give this movie a 3.5/5 and recommend it mostly to previous Coen fans.

 

P.S.  Another thing I didn’t like was the fact that they never resolved Swinton’s character. It just ends without mention of her.  

 

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No Country For Old Men

Posted on 12 September 2008 by Oscar Gutierrez

The Coen Brothers strike again to give us a movie with suspense, action, crime, and one of the creepiest villains in years, decades even. No Country for Old Men is the Coen Brother’s shot to mainstream stardom as well as critical and box office acclaim. The film stars Josh Brolin, Tommy Lee Jones, and Javier Bardem in a tale of murder, revenge, and escape.

The movie starts off with Tommy Lee Jones setting the scene, he is the Sherriff of a small town in Texas and it introduces us to Javier Bardem’s character when he murders the officer that arrested him and escapes in the car. Josh Brolin’s character at that point is out in the desert when he stumbles upon a drug deal gone bad in which he finds several dead bodies. He trails off from there and ends up finding two million dollars and he takes it back to his home. Bardem is looking for the money and Brolin knows that he is being followed so he leaves town. The entire film plays out like a chase movie with Brolin’s character running from Bardem’s, up until the last twenty minutes.

The acting is great here with both Brolin and Jones giving respectable performances but it is Javier Bardem who makes this movie exceptional. He gives such a chilling performance that you can’t help but shudder whenever you see him on screen.  He is the Joker of No Country for Old Men, both great performances, both great villains, and both unforgettable characters. Every line that comes out of Bardem’s mouth has such a terrifying quality to it that you can’t help but feel scared for what he’s going to do next. His performance was so incredible that he won the Best Supporting Actor for the role, although I don’t see why he was placed in the supporting category as it is Bardem who carries this movie.

Although this is a terrifying crime slash chase movie, the Coens manage to inject some of their signature dark humor into the film and I wound up laughing a lot more than I thought I would.  Even Bardem made me laugh at times which made me marvel at Bardem’s skill. The Coens certainly have their own unique style and I see them as some of the most talented directors in Hollywood right now.  Their movies are incredible, and if adapted from a novel (as No Country was) they are always true to their source material. No Country For Old Men deserved the Best Picture Oscar that it got and I give it a 5/5, If you haven’t seen it , go and rent it, move it to number one on your Netflix queue, buy it, I don’t care, you just have to see this movie.

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The Big Lebowski

Posted on 12 September 2008 by Oscar Gutierrez

The Big Lebowski is a comedy slash crime film from the Coen brothers and it’s quite a good one at that. The film stars Jeff Bridges as The Dude, an over the top lazy slacker named Jeff Lebowski who is mistaken for the millionaire Jeff Lebowski by the mob and attempts to set things straight. From the very beginning we are introduced to the wonderful character that is The Dude when he walks into a grocery store and pays for one carton of milk with a check.  When he gets home he is attacked by two men who proceed to ask him questions and even pee on his rug. They mistook him for the millionaire and, pushed by his best friend Walter (John Goodman), goes to the millionaire looking for compensation for his rug which “really tied the room together”.

At this point the Dude steals a rug from the billionaire and meets his wife on the way out. His wife is played by Tara Reid and when she gets kidnapped the millionaire Lebowski and his servant Brandt (Phillip Seymour Hoffman) ask the dude to help get her back. They entrust him with money for the ransom and the Dude takes Walter with him and together they go to the spot to try and pay the ransom. The entire plot is twisted and hilarious which goes deeper and deeper as the movie goes on so I’ll just stop here and say that the story is excellent.

The acting is also above par. Jeff Bridges and John Goodman in particular give incredible performances, Bridges as the ultimate slacker and Goodman as the Vietnam veteran who is the definition of awesome cinema bad asses. However besides those two they throw in Steve Buscemi playing the timid Donny, Phillip Seymour Hoffman as the eager servant Brandt, and Julianne Moore as the artistic Maude.  The supporting cast is indeed star studded but none give more memorable small roles than John Turturro who play s Jesus, a rival bowler that is also a registered child molester. Turturro plays the character so well that it actually makes you believe that he could do well in his own movie. (Not Turturro but the character of Jesus could have his own movie.)   

While the plot may not have sounded anything like a comedy, the Coen’s dark humor powers through it and delivers one of the funniest movies I’ve ever seen. Whether the Dude and his posse were bowling or Goodman was shoving a gun in someone’s face for a foul I found myself completely involved. This movie has incredible acting, writing, directing, and made me laugh almost throughout the movie. I think it is the best Coen Comedy (A fact that may change with Burn After Reading, but it will be hard) and one of the best films of the decade. It deserves a spot on my DVD shelf and I’m going to look into buying the tenth anniversary edition as well, I recommend this to any one who would like to see a great comedy and give it a 4.5/5

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