A scientist (Michael Gross) leads a group of Navy SEALs back to when dinosaurs walked the earth to rescue the surviving team that traveled back many years ago. After meeting with the long lost team, they discover that teleporting back to the present time comes with gigantic mishaps.

Originally aired on the Sci Fi Channel if I’m not mistaken, this movie had no right to be made into a DVD. From the costumes to the lighting, this wouldn’t receive the mildest recommendation from the world’s most lenient critic. It lacks any coordination (the camera work is extremely flimsy) and the characters are paper thin. Kids ages 6-8 might get a kick out of the artificially furnished CG work, but it has too much violence and profanity for that particular age group. Everyone else will just find it artless, soulless, tasteless, and senseless.

Terrible, terrible, terrible. The concept is ridiculous (this same idea was put to better use in the film A Sound Of Thunder), the acting was horrendous, and the CGI effects are equivalent to those of a poorly rendered video game. If by some miracle you come across this DVD, avoid it entirely.

Overloaded with seriousness and bombarded with overacting, it is obvious that nobody was having fun making this movie, resulting in unintentionally funny moments being unworthy of laughs. Hear that! It is so bad I couldn’t even laugh at it! It will end up being a dust collector in my collection of DVDs. Even Michael Gross (Burt of Tremors) gave an atrocious, out-of-this-world bad performance.

Other than the forest scenery, this is an ugly and colorless film. Nothing stands out as redeeming qualities. 100 Million B.C. shamelessly borrows its concept from A Sound of Thunder, modifies it in unskilled ways, and then decides to have it undergo unpolished production. The result might very well be one of the most embarrassing and helpless pieces of cinematic trash ever. There is no value to this movie. No entertainment to be found, no fun to be had, and no surprises to relish.

If, for some bizarre reason, you already have the DVD, be sure to watch the four trailers before the film begins. It is about the only fun to be found on the entire DVD. That being said, I am pretty sure everyone knows what the verdict is here. 0.5/5 stars

Special features include the original widescreen presentation, 5.1 Surround Sound, “100 Million Years Back In Time”, “Dino-evolution”, a blooper reel, and deleted scenes.

I was really excited about seeing this one. Maybe even more so than The Dark Knight. Okay, that might be pushing it, but lets just say the buzz level was very high. I was there opening night. So, a little preparation and a bit of body spray to cover it up, and I was off to ride the Pineapple Express.

Seth Rogen and James Franco team up for the first time as two of the most gratifying stoners to reach the big screen. Dale Denton (Seth Rogen) is the stoner who witnesses a murder and is chased by a ruthless killer. He heads to his dealer’s house, Saul Silver (James Franco), in spite of panic. After dragging his dealer into the mess, Dale Denton and new buddy are on the run.

Chock full of hilarious one-liners, tons of over-the-top comedic violence, and lots of cloudy smoke — yeah, you’re sure to get a second-hand high off of this slap-happy stoner comedy. Pineapple Express is the Citizen Kane of its genre. It’s the funniest comedy I have seen in ages. There’s plenty for the stoner crowd to savor, enough to satisfy action junkies, and it even works for the casual movie-goer as a warming buddy flick.

Is it audacious? Sure it is. There is one scene in particular where Dale and Saul sell dope on a school playground that is sure to stir up some controversy.

The film has a great director (David Gordon Green who directed Snow Angels) and a character soon to be inducted as a vintage in stoner history; Saul Silver ranks among the greatest (Spicoli, Chong, Kumar, ect.) and is equally funny. Unlike Judd Apatow’s previous work (Superbad and Knocked Up), this film lowers the profanity level yet it is much funnier. How about that? A film that doesn’t use profanity as a subject of hilarity. This is a good thing, Judd Apatow. Your work is finally taking a turn for the better. Maybe next time you can take notes from Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg on writing a funny script that is light on profanity.

I don’t know if my stomach hurts because I busted a gut or because I ate too much popcorn. Either way, this is the most entertaining film of the year. The script is intelligently funny and the performances are priceless. If you’re not laughing every minute, you’ll be laughing every thirty seconds. There’s never a downhill for this movie.

A high, high recommendation for Pineapple Express. It’s an instant classic, a film equipped with non-stop laughs and and violent surprises. The kind of person who says “no” will probably still like this movie, but being familiar with the source material would help. 5/5 stars

After seeing and loving pretty much every moment of the theatrical version of Harold and Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay, I had to see what the unrated version was all about. What a mistake that was.

The title tells you the basic story. The two lovable stoner buddies Harold and Kumar (John Cho and Kal Penn) are mistaken for terrorists and are sent to Guantanamo Bay where they escape and become fugitives. Hence the name Escape From Guanatanamo Bay.

Escape’s theatrical release is much cruder, raunchier, and funnier than Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle (nearly crossing the line of vulgar remarks, but restrains itself from doing so, making it all the more funnier). So, the filmmakers came up with the brilliant plan to add the unrated version of the film to the DVD. Fair enough. Unfortunately, this version so willfully does the uncalled for, simply resulting in a film that is both messy and filthy.

It becomes one of those movies where the scenes are prolonged and are shot poorly, zooming up wildly on every naked female’s lower region, giving off an amateur porn vibe. Most of these scenes in the unrated version (i.e. the bottomless party) seemed like directors Jon Hurwitz and Hayden Schlossberg (Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle) weren’t paying much attention to directing as much as they were paying attention to scoping out the unnecessary. Putting the moments added in the unrated version as deleted scenes in the special features of the DVD would’ve been sufficient.

This unrated version features extended scenes that mostly consist of unnecessary close-ups of graphic nudity (both pleasant and unpleasant images) and genital jokes that seem unpolished, flat, and once again unnecessary. I regret watching the unrated version because it made me feel terribly disappointed, although it did show that it was well-edited for the silver screen. Scenes are prolonged in lenth and end up weighing down the jokes rather than making them funnier.

I say, by all means, rent Harold and Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay (one of the year’s funniest films) if you haven’t seen it yet and watch the theatrical version first. The chemistry between John Cho and Kal Penn is still there, and Neil Patrick Harris reprises his role as NPH. A new over-the-top character played by Rob Corddry is priceless. Its politically incorrect, hard-to-swallow jokes are timed perfectly and are pretty damn funny. And let’s not forget the George W. Bush scene. The theatrical version rarely blows stale smoke. However, the unrated version is sloppy, overloaded with repugnant and unessential nudity, and completely unneeded. Trust me. I know it is tempting because of it being unrated and all, but it truly makes the movie much better if you skip the unrated version entirely.

Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay Theatrical Version 4.5/5 stars
Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay Unrated Version 1.5/5 stars

DVD as a whole gets a 2.5/5 stars for adding the Unrated Version.

Paul thinks he has found the right woman, one that will fill his need for love and seductiveness. But Kathryn isn’t exactly the woman of his dreams. In fact, she is the complete opposite. A rush into marriage leads them to their honeymoon vacation in Oregon, which reveals Kathryn’s dark secret and spirals Paul into the morbid madness of a religious maniac.

This is apparently a film that doesn’t quite know what to do with its concept. The plot is poorly structured and messy, switching from a tired interrogation scene to the evidently “dark” honeymoon newlyweds Kathryn and Paul experience. This is one of those movies that you might watch on television when nothing else is on, and even then it will be nothing more than an ineffective thriller and a bad film altogether.

It’s predictable, shallow, and unconvincing. Although it is certainly gratifying to see Roy Scheider (better known for his role in Jaws) in his last completed assignment, nearly everything was lackluster. The acting was questionable, the kills were forgettable, and more importantly the dialog was awkward. Come to think of it, the entire film was inept. Every scene felt like a draft. It’s as if each scene might have had a total of two takes.

On the plus side, Nick Cornish gives a mildly effective performance, but it’s hindered by a terribly flimsy one by Lindy Booth as the seductive psychopath. There are multiple sex scenes, uninvolving characters, and oblivious kills used as filler, which is ultimately dilettantish. But all the filler does help dodge boredom (you can call that a compliment to savor). This is a film with no brains, or skill for that matter, backing it up. It even has one of the most predictable and downright uninspired twist endings I have ever seen.

That being said, it is obvious that I can’t recommend Dark Honeymoon to anyone. This is a film with practically no memorable qualities to redeem it from being the hobbly piece of garbage it is. I say with complete assurance, skip this lurid mess and burn it for me if you manage to get a hold of it. All of the Dark Honeymoon DVDs should be put on display in the bottom of Hollywood’s dumpster. Yes, it’s that bad.

So if after reading this review you are still curious as to how bad the film actually is, you can check it out for yourself. But be aware that you were warned not to waste your time, money, or free rental on it. Maybe this time I will get a few “thank yous”.

The Dark Honeymoon DVD has no special features and certainly isn’t worthy of any either. 1/5 stars

Being a firm believer in global warming and the consequences surrounding it, I wasn’t exactly dreading the fact that I had to watch a documentary on it. However, I am not a fan of documentaries and usually find them monotonous.

Everything’s Cool dwells on the fact that the Bush Administration tampered with scientific reports and convinced millions of people that taking action towards global warming would plummet us into the next depression. Skeptics believe global warming is a myth, a ludicrous pulp fiction if you will, which ultimately led to labeling the issue as a theory rather than fact.

While this documentary has plenty of well-thought data pertaining to the crisis some claim to be the “mother of all problems”, it fails to probe deeper into the subject and provide some inner depth about solutions.

Directors Daniel B. Gold and Judith Helfand, who spawned the sub-genre known as “toxic comedy”, point out many problems caused by global warming such as melting ice caps, drastic weather changes, and even migration of insects. In the process of describing these consequences, the directors of the award-winning documentary, titled Blue Vinyl, failed to give any counsel as to what society could do to slow down this irreversible crisis.

While this documentary about global warming is considerably more upbeat and has a much more expansive approach to the subject than Al Gore’s An Inconvenient Truth, it lacks the vitalizing details and the abundance of solutions provided in Al Gore’s critically acclaimed documentary.

Everything’s Cool shows some spurts of cleverness and has a distinct openness towards making things right, but the fact that the issue is told from an optimistic point of view sort of bogs down the purpose of the film. A more depressing and catastrophic look at what is happening to the world would’ve been more effective, rather than discussing the problem in a more enlightening fashion that ultimately gives off an ineffective vibe.

I would rather sit through Al Gore’s monotone presentation of the problems, effects, and solutions for global warming than watch a documentary based on the same problem that is completely derivative and unavailing. When it is all said and done, this is by no means a good documentary. Rather than putting forth any effort to solve the problem it is addressing, it merely points fingers and seeks those to blame. I suggest watching a global warming documentary of more value and importance. Maybe one with more depth and meaning.  

Special features of the DVD include director’s commentary, over 1 hour of bonus footage and activist extras, and the exclusive DVD-ROM link to Doctored Report to Congress and Rick Piltz Congressional Testimony. 2/5 stars

Before making the award-winning picture The Queen, director Stephen Frears made a film in 2003 titled The Deal that is now known as “The Prequel To The Queen”. But the real question is, has he always been a great director or did he evolve gradually into an Oscar-nominated filmmaker?

The Deal is a political drama, more along the lines of being a character study, that follows the true life story of Tony Blair (Michael Sheen) and Gordon Brown (David Morrissey) as they strike a remarkable deal. The deal made between the two stipulated that Brown wouldn’t stand in the 1994 Labour leadership election, thereby allowing Blair to have an open run at eventually becoming the Prime Minister of Britain.

Stephen Frears directs the cast exceedingly well and it is obvious that his talent has been apparent long before The Queen, as demonstrated in both The Deal and the 1990 crime drama The Grifters. In The Deal the acting is stellar, the direction is solid, and the script is intelligent. However, the political aspect of the film is truly overwhelming and leaves those outside of politics in the dark.

In fact, there is so much political double-talk that my head was spinning in confusion. If you’re not familiar with political lingo (or you don’t even follow politics for that matter), you will probably have a hard time following the complex dialog. Those of you who are interested in minute political details might find it compelling, but others will be exhausted and completely lost as to what’s going on.

There is an intriguing orchestrated score in the film that felt like a complete waste. Such an appealing score by composer Nathan Larson could’ve been used in a much more gripping film, one that has at least some mild intensity surrounding it.

This is a film that is strong in most critical aspects (directing, editing, acting), but lacks a plot interesting to those unfamiliar with political jargon; one that will fade from memory quickly and doesn’t have a sustaining effect on casual viewers. While it is a very well made movie, it just lacks the ability to captivate those who aren’t familiar with the source material. It all results in consecutive yawns and prolonged blinks of boredom.

While this is a film that I can’t recommend and have absolutely no desire to ever watch again, I can say that its target audience (those interested in politics) will find themselves greatly captivated. For me it was a supremely prosaic and profoundly tedious true life story, a movie that will find a balance between those of us interested in political debates and those of us who could just care less.  2/5 stars

The DVD’s special features include feature commentary by writer Peter Morgan and producer Christine Langan, a conversation with director Stephen Frears, and biographies.

Jet Li has made some really remarkable films and it is sad to say that Tai Chi Master is not one of them. It’s silly, pretentious, and utterly appalling.

Junbao (Jet Li) and Chin Bo (Siu-hou Chin) have grown up together teaching each other masterful techniques deadly to their opponents. But after they both get kicked out of the Shaolin temple, Chin Bo betrays Junbao for money from the government of China and becomes a ruthless killer.

I am in complete awe at how bad this movie really is. Before getting to anything worthwhile, poorly rendered subtitles rapidly flood the screen in a manner so fast any average person would have to pause the DVD to read them, and three prolonged fight sequences of ridiculous kung fu antics will have eyeballs rolling. It becomes very frustrating within a few minutes. Tai Chi Master is the worst Dragon Dynasty picture I have seen, the worst Jet Li movie I have ever seen, and a top contender for the worst kung fu movie I have ever seen.

Having complete respect for Jet Li’s remarkable talent, this film avoids exploiting them in a manner that is agreeable to some extent. Instead, Director Woo-Ping Yuen creates some of the most unintentionally funny and outrageously stupid moments in the history of kung fu cinema. This is a film that begins idiotic, becomes moronic halfway through, and ends up being preposterous in the finale.

It’s incredible to be able to have such coordination to execute some of these antics and I admire that. However the film is never beautiful, rarely enjoyable, and constantly frustrating. The whole DVD is a mess. The subtitles are too fast to read and if you listen to the dubbed version of the film, the characters say something completely different from the subtitles. I just don’t get it.

I was expecting something similar to Iron Monkey or Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon. This is nowhere near as good-looking nor is it anywhere near as astonishing as those films. It irks me that Jet Li agreed to make such a sloppy film.

It’s nearly unwatchable, thanks to the rapid fire of incoherent subtitles and the torrent of stupidness that makes up the entire movie. It is best to save your money and keep your distance from this messy, poorly structured DVD. 1/5 stars

Looking for a romantic comedy that appeals to a broad audience; a film that never goes overboard with stereotypes and profanity? Outsourced just might be the perfect movie for you. The DVD is set to be released on September 2, 2008.

Todd Anderson (John Hamilton) is living a fine life until he receives the bad news that his job has been outsourced, meaning that the company is to send out work to an outside provider in order to cut costs. Even worse is the fact that Todd must travel to India to train his replacement. There he learns about the history of India, the cultural dos and don’ts, and finds true love along the way.

Outsourced is an exotic charmer filled with endearing characters and genuinely funny moments, a film that doesn’t rush into the romance and is never mawkish or overly sentimental. It perfectly mixes charm and humor with some truly fascinating insights on Indian culture mixed in. I was surprised that this film had so much to say about India. Although the majority of these things seem, well, unsanitary, the film also has some interesting lessons pertaining to Indian goddesses and bindis.

It stamped a smile on my face from beginning to end by using relatable incidents similar to those one might encounter while spending time in a country with a non-western culture. There are certain rules you must follow. Eating the right foods is a must (as this film so humorously demonstrates) and is quite possibly the most important rule upon further examination of the film.

The acting was also a pleasant surprise. The cast, both American and Indian, fit the roles perfectly and show some acting skills along with sharp comedic timing. John Hamilton’s Todd Anderson reacts exactly as one would when encountering a cow in his office and Ayesha Dharker’s Asha has moments that are touching. The mishaps that Todd encounters and finds solutions to are quite funny and the relationship between Todd and Asha is remarkably honest. The two have great chemistry.

Outsourced is a clever, sweet, and surprisingly hilarious movie that uses lighthearted humor and charm to win over just about anyone in need of a carefree movie experience. The combination of likable characters, modest humor, and a cute love story make for a purely enjoyable romantic comedy. With more comedy than romance, the film easily overcomes being predicable and cliched. Director John Jeffcoat has a fondness for his characters and simply guides them in the right direction every step of the way. Not only is it a hugely enjoyable film, but also a beautifully rendered love story.

The DVD’s special features include “Behind the Scenes”, a music video, an audio commentary track, an interview with director John Jeffcoat, a theatrical trailer, and a storyboard feature. 4.5/5 stars

Another painfully annoying Martin Lawrence movie or finally a refreshing Martin Lawrence comedy? Actually, it’s a combination of the two.

Chief of Police James Porter (Martin Lawrence) is a father devoted to spending every lasting moment with his little daughter Melanie (Raven-Symoné). He starts to worry, and the movie begins in earnest, when Melanie plans on going across the country to find the perfect college. James’s plan is to get her to go to the closest college possible, exactly 28 minutes away from her home. However, his plan isn’t as easy as he thought it would be.

Yep, it does have a couple lame jokes, a few annoying characters, and some unnecessary sing-alongs, all of which make up some of the worst moments in the film. Fortunately, we have twice as many laugh-out-loud moments, a few heartwarming incidents, and that adorable pig Albert, which combine to make more than a few bright spots in this G-rated film. It’s a hit-and-miss family comedy.

It’s predictable, yet fluffy and clean family entertainment. It’s perfect for the family in the fact that nothing is vile and it still manages to make adults laugh, or, at the very least, smile. Much of those laughs or smiles come thanks to the comedic duo that is Albert the Pig and Martin Lawrence. The two managed to make me crack up quite a few times. And all the laughs are true, never forced.

As for the supporting cast, they didn’t bring the comedy as much as they brought some headache-inducing duets and solos. If you can get past those moments, you will have a good time. Director Roger Kumble (Cruel Intentions, Cruel Intentions 2, Just Friends) doesn’t top any of his previous films, but he shows moments of good comedic capabilities here and there. It is easy to say that without Donny Osmond and Molly Ephraim (who play another dad-daughter pair out looking at colleges), the overload of overly sentimental moments, and the horrendous singing, this would almost be a highly recommended film.

Clearly this is Disney Channel material with higher production values and a big Hollywood star filling the lead role. It is a film I can recommend for a family with children under the age of 8; the kids will probably find the parts that annoy adults pretty funny. On the other hand, if you’re a critical person and are looking at all aspects of the film, you can’t help but see much of the lame humor that takes place on this College Road Trip. Overall however, there are enough laugh-out-loud moments (which I wasn’t expecting from a G-rated comedy) to make it palatable for a family. Everyone else would be just fine avoiding this one. 2.5/5 stars

The DVD’s special features include the usual gag reel, deleted scenes, alternate opening and endings, and audio commentary tracks.

Andie (Briana Evigan) belongs to the 410 crew. They’re composed of the greatest dancers on the street who frolic around disturbing the peace with their talents. After disputes with the crew leave Andie on her own, she gathers up the school’s most talented misfits to create an impressive dance crew to gain respect.

If you’re familiar with the formula, then you know the outcome. It is nothing new, nor does it try to be. But with the talented cast of stylish dancers, this film exceeds expectations and looks good while doing so. If only the film was all dance moves that tell a story, rather than mixing it with slang terms and preaching right and wrong in the end. All of this is unnecessary and could have been filled in with more dancing.

Energetic, explosive and enthralling dance moves are what entices the viewers and basically makes them forget how predictable and cliched the storyline is. One character in particular really stood out with impeccable dance skills, Moose (Adam G. Sevani), who blew me away in the final dance scene. It is clear that this is all style and no substance. But you know what, I didn’t care and neither should you. The cast is young and good-looking, the characters are gratifying, and the dance scenes are dazzling. It is everything a movie like this needs in order for the viewers to forget all the blemishes.

The acting isn’t always good, but these unknowns look comfortable in front of a camera which lines them up for much broader roles in the future. It’s very predictable and widely cliched, but what else is there to add to such overused material? You will be overwhelmed by the well-choreographed flips, spins and rhythm of each movement.

Everything in between the smooth movements and free-styling galore plays out like another insipid melodrama, complete with romance and violent stir-ups. Director Jon Chu does what he can and makes it work. I highly recommend it for some great set pieces, magnificent tactics in the dancing portions, and an attractive cast that elevate it beyond its overly familiar plot.

The Dance-Off Edition DVD special features that include deleted scenes, music videos, outtakes, Lead Actor Robert Hoffman Video Prank, Outlaws of Hip Hop, and The Making of Step Up 2. 3.5/5 stars

Two sets of half brothers become charged with anger after the death of their father, a man who treated one half of the family with violence and resentment, and the other half with respect and loyalty. The poorly treated half of the Hayes family said a few disrespectful words at their father’s funeral. This commenced a feud between the two families, who then resort to the right to bear arms in order to solve these disputes.

Shotgun Stories forges a righteous path for revenge stories with an important message, which ranks it as last year’s most powerful film. First-time writer/director Jeff Nichols might spark a new wave of American filmmakers with his style and the obvious conviction of his work. It’s tightly edited and marvelously triumphant in its depiction of right and wrong. The casting was done wisely. Although actor Michael Shannon’s character seems one-dimensional until rage hits him, most of the performances are very good at capturing the essence of these individuals. Every performance is dead on.

The film has a very slow pace that centers on developing these characters. The problem is we have characters here that have bullet wounds and are patched up with bandages and we have no insight into where or how these wounds occurred. For example, Son Hayes (Micheal Shannon) has bullet wounds in his back from protecting his brothers. But where, when, and why did this happen? Same goes with Shampoo (G. Alan Wilkins). He has bandages all over himself and we have no recollection as to how this happened. Small things like that deserve to be answered.

It picks up the pace about halfway through and becomes exactly the film I was expecting — a tense, harrowing decent into revenge-fueled hatred. Powerful, important, and very American, the intensity this story has makes it a must-see. The score is ideal for a movie like this, giving off an appropriate vibe. Jeff Nichols has a way of putting a spellbinding trance on us and guides us to the meaningful ending. The PG-13 rating is very appropriate for the violence occurring in America. Everyone should see this film before reaching out for a loaded weapon and maybe they will think about the consequences of revenge and the long-lasting effects it has on people.

Shotgun Stories is the most American film of the year and possibly one that will be remembered for years to come. Jeff Nichols knows what he is doing, and proves it by demonstrating a new kind of justice, one that forgives and forgets instead of descending into brutality. It’s a wake-up call to America. Special features include an audio commentary with director Jeff Nichols, an isolated score track composed and performed by the band Lucero, a photo gallery, and a Shotgun Stories trailer. 4/5 stars

Discovering a worthwhile horror comedy that is released directly to DVD is a gleeful moment for buffs of the genre like myself, and I think I discovered one of the scariest direct-to-DVD horror comedies released in years. The terrifying film Dead and Gone is available on DVD July 1.

Poor Jack Wade. His famous wife is in a coma and they are steadily running low on money. But Jack has an idea — he’ll bring his wife out to an isolated cabin deep in the mountains where he can finally put her body to rest for good and gain the assets he so desperately needs. However, this is the same cabin where a man murdered his family 40 years ago and it is rumored to be built on an Indian burial ground. Now, killing his wife isn’t as easy as he thought it would be.

Harry Shannon’s inaugural screenplay is put into the hands of first-time director Yossi Sasson. The producers and screenwriter evidently trusted this rookie director to bring Shannon’s insane ideas to life. I think it was this trust that elevated this picture and it’s clear that Sasson knew where to go with this concept and how to execute it.

Don’t rent this film expecting full-on horror. Although it does have quite a bit of blood-spewing action, it has its moments of dark humor wedged in. But this is humor so dry you probably will find yourself thinking it’s funny rather than laughing out loud. It gels horror with deadpan comedy very well by not making us burst into laughter. It mostly benefits from flashy imagery and fast motion sequences that polish the look, tighten the atmosphere, and ultimately scare the hell out of the viewers.

Quentin Jones proved his ability to carry a movie, bearing in mind that he was pretty much the highlight of the film. There are a few well done cameo appearances by Kyle Gass from the two-man band Tenacious D and horror regular Zack Ward who first made his appearance as a child actor in the film A Christmas Story as Scut Farcus. These cameo appearances aren’t anything special, but might satisfy the few fans they have. It’s a gooey surprise and a solid debut for both Harry Shannon and Yossi Sasson.

In the vein of The Shining and The Evil Dead, this white knuckle thrill-ride will have you on the edge of your seat from its gripping opening scene to its twisted finale. Hell, you just might fall off your seat. The last 25 minutes of the film are truly frightening and there are enough harrowing twists and turns to maintain the intrigue. It even has a tingling score with a light chuckle tweaked in occasionally. Not only does it have the ability to send chills up the spine, but it will also have you biting your nails down to the core.

Look for it when it hits the rental shelves on July 1 and you can thank me later. DVD special features include the featurette “Gone with the Dead: Behind the Scenes of Dead and Gone“, filmmakers’ commentary with director Yossi Sasson and writer Harry Shannon, deleted scenes, outtakes, and a trailer gallery. 4.5/5 stars

Join Jerry and Mike (Jack Black and Mos Def) in Be Kind Rewind as they “swede” some of the most iconic movies of all time to raise the appropriate amount of money and save their aged video store from being torn down.

What is sweding, one might ask? Sweding is when you remake a film from scratch using whatever you can get your hands on. In this case, Jerry accidentally erases every video tape from the store and Mike comes up with the simple idea of remaking the VHS tapes using themselves as actors. The two end up becoming stars and people from around the country start to seek the sweded work of Jerry and Mike.

The idea is unique and the characters are charming. Jerry is an over-the-top character with sensitive feelings and believes that he is perfect for every role and Mike is a very simple-minded, soft-spoken character who just doesn’t want to disappoint the store owner and father figure Elroy Fletcher, passively played by Danny Glover.

Although the tone of the film is much different from that of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, there is still a lot of thought put into this picture. And this takes of a whole lot effort from Jack Black and Mos Def if you consider the many different roles they had to cover in the time span of 102 minutes. Let’s not forget about Danny Glover, who has a distinctive slur to his voice and gives an unobtrusive performance that brings some dignity to his character. There are a few funny moments to be found, but the film seemed more interested in capturing the hearts of its viewers, rather piling on the laughs.

A definitive style and imagination is a requirement for a solid concept like this. Michel Gondry proved that he has everything needed to direct films with such an offbeat pitch to it when he put his signature style on films like Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and The Science of Sleep. This one’s a true crowd pleaser.

Unlike Son of Rambow (a film that was also trying to grasp the essence of film and failed on multiple levels), this film has a tender spot for movie lovers and pleases without being disorganized and erratically uneven. A solid script, great cast, and an amusing premise guide this homage to movies, friendship, and the power of numbers to its warm finale. Be sure to take the time to cherish each clever scene and the outer limits of Michel Gondry’s imagination. The ending will either be a touching, heartfelt one or an insipid, whimsical one (depending on one’s perspective). For me, it was entirely endearing.  4/5 stars

Writer/director Richard Linklater (Dazed and Confused, A Scanner Darkly) takes the audience on a psychedelic mind-trip into the world of dreaming. A man wanders around in his own dream meeting various people who preach the meaning and purpose of life and has multiple false awakenings in the process. He begins to question what is real and what is fictional and soon wonders if this is the result of death. The cast includes Wiley Wiggins, Ethan Hawke, Julie Delpy, Adam Goldberg, Steven Soderbergh, and Richard Linklater himself.

It all comes down to what Linklater was trying to accomplish. Whether it’s due to an abundant flow of ideas and theories or just proof that he handled every drug known to man during his college days, Linklater has a way of drawing his audience into his dream world of distorting illusion and conventional conversations pertaining to evolution, the media, and isolation. The majority of these conversations are contrived and just don’t make much sense. But when the occasional well thought out theory is explained thoroughly, one can’t help but dwell on these perspectives and immediately become enmeshed in Linklater’s world of hypothetical analysis.

The animation is trippy. Objects move when they should be stationary and the characters change shape and colors, even becoming transparent at times. It’s an ambitious work of art with an imaginative glance into the world of surrealism, an hypnotic way of explaining one’s perception of dreams and reality. It’s a film for the thinking crowd, the type of movie that will test your knowledge and proclaim its existence into your memory.

It’s absurd in the fact that the entire film is unpredictable and that random thoughts become rationed out though different perspectives. However, this absurdity is what keeps the film interesting. There’s quite a bit to look at here (a gift to the eyes) and enough to intrigue and bring out inner thoughts about life (a treat to the ears and mind). I can’t say that the film will be completely engaging, but I found most of these principles associated with life to be utterly fascinating.

Linklater has many thoughts crowding his head and this seems like the best way of displaying his loopy mindset and ultimately activating the gears in the viewer’s brain. What Richard Linklater does here is provide a way of dealing with dreams; he put a new brand of animation on the map in the process. In the end, Linklater does justice to the mind and brings something distinctive and new to the table. A standing ovation is required.  4/5 stars

Welcome to Central High, where everyone is treated with equal disrespect. Bullies roam the school’s premises in search of timid bystanders and beautiful women to molest. Fortunately we have our hero to save the day, or destroy it with his madman personality. A new kid who becomes agitated over the violence that these bullies inflict on innocent people decides to resort to violence himself to teach them a lesson.

Massacre at Central High sports a cast of unknown actors and actresses who willingly display full frontal nudity and end up getting killed in the process. Writer/director Rene Daalder’s first full length American feature isn’t a complete disaster, for it clearly has a classic feel to it. The constant use of frat boy violence, the transformation of a seemingly normal guy to one who exhibits outbursts of rage, and nearly farcical kills yield a mixture of a violent satire of Animal House, The Incredible Hulk (without the green), and classic slap-happy slasher flicks. It just doesn’t quite work and shouldn’t work with the ingredients provided.

The score here has to be the most ill-suited aspect of the entire film. It just seems that the usage of a violin could have given off a creepy vibe instead of a happy-go-lucky one. Those of you who are looking for a so-called classic with a no-budget effect similar to this one should go rent a film like Sleepaway Camp. The attempts at piling up corpses here are laughable and contrived, due to lack of effort. I do have a keen desire to like films with bad titles and the occasional unintentional laughter, but there is a line to be drawn and this movie crosses it one too many times.

The ending is a huge let-down and the whole experience was just strange and never quite engaging. Everything (the kills, the characters, the direction, etc.) plays out by the numbers and no new ideas are thrown into the mix, leading to a cliched execution.

If you can get past the helpless beginning, unfit score, and wretched line reading, you might be able to find a splash of guilty pleasure here and there. Just don’t count on it. The film never pushes its otherwise respectable concept to its limits and ends up being a film that (just by reading the title) gives you insight on what you’re in for. It’s an instantly forgettable and comically bad film that might possibly have a following considering the interest in revenge films, but I just don’t see it being big enough to develop a fan base. 1.5/5 stars

I managed to get a exclusive look at the upcoming film The Mutant Chronicles, blasting its way into theaters some time in 2008. The exact release date is unknown as of this writing, but it’s certain that it will be some time this year. The big question is whether or not it is worth the time and price of admission.

During the 23rd century, a soldier by the name of Mitch Hunter (Thomas Jane) guides an army of fierce fighters to battle underground mutants after opening a seal to an ancient creation. This creation is a machine known to turn humans into blade-slinging mutants determined to wipe out mankind. It is up to Mitch and his fierce army to save the world. Quite possibly the first ever pen-and-paper-role-playing-game-turned-movie, The Mutant Chronicles is surprisingly satisfying.

Loud, exciting, very funny, and brutally entertaining, it just might be the action film of the year — a movie full of great fight scenes, excitement around every corner, and visually arresting set designs that will hold even the most cynical viewer’s interest. Truthfully, it is the most fun I’ve had at the movies in a long time.

Sporting an A-list action cast that includes Ron Perlman (Hellboy) and Thomas Jane (The Punisher), it is sure to please a certain targeted audience that has a lust for action and a strong appetite for gore. The thrills, the shocks, and the sheer enjoyment of going to the movies is all there and in full, ass-kicking form.

But don’t get me wrong, readers, this isn’t a masterpiece. It does have its glitches like underdeveloped characters, loads of commentary, and Ron Perlman’s acting (which is nearly laughable). Not to mention the small cameo appearance from John Malkovich was unnecessary and could’ve saved the filmmakers a few bucks by casting an unknown actor for this role. Things like that are giving the movie a bad rep after its premier at the Cannes Film Festival. However, there are enough adrenaline-charged moments to flush out these glitches and make for pure entertainment.

In the final act, we get to see Hellboy and The  Punisher go head-to-head in a battle to the death. It’s an exhilarating moment added to the tons of violence beforehand and a great finish to a spectacular fusion of sci-fi, action, horror, and comedy. The Mutant Chronicles is an authentic film and certainly worth the admission price, popcorn and all. 4.5/5 stars